Feb 15 Lunch: Simpson’s-in-the-Strand, 13:30

[jdaw1]

Sundays are not ideal for me but I have not given up on the possibility that someone will need me in London very early on Monday morning, thereby requiring a Sunday departure from home. I might not know until a few days before but it looks like there might be a seat available if I can make it.

If CSD has nothing accessible, presumably we each bring 2 × 75cl?

Doty + Turnbull + Wiseman: what could go wrong?

[DRT]

Sounds like a civilised Sunday afternoon to me.

[WS1]

Sounds like a civilised Sunday afternoon to me.

Do not forget the emergency back up bts.....

regards

WS1

[jdaw1]

The placemats and booking information added to the first post.

[Chris Doty]

The placemats and booking information added to the first post.

All seems well. One issue is that my sister (the bride to be) has bought the family tickets to see an Arsenal fixture this same afternoon (kicking off at 4pm). I understand it is fairly easy to get to the venue via the tube, and I don't need to be there exactly at kickoff (a little girlfootball goes a long way), but if possible, I would prefer to move up the start of this lunch so as to maximize our socializing. Possible?

Also, sorry to hear that WS and RAYC are unavailable for this event. And what has become of AHB, Jacob, etc?! Still, the three of us should hopefully provide a nice demonstration of how gentlemen lunch, and I am very much looking forward to it! Quality vintage port is as scarce as crosswalks here in Bangalore.

woo woo

[jdaw1]

Is it really wise to be attempting to be admitted to a football ground after a bottle or more of port? English football fans used to have, ahem, a reputation, since when policing at football grounds has become more, ahem, overt.

Are you sure that you will be admitted to the grounds? Is this a good plan?

[djewesbury]

He's not going to be stumbling and slurring. Policing at the Emirates doesn't include breathalysing everyone going in. Bear in mind that the rest of the crowd will have had a swift five or six before the game.

Chris: ignore Nanny JDAW.

[jdaw1]

Fine. I defer to expertise.

[DRT]

He's not going to be stumbling and slurring. Policing at the Emirates doesn't include breathalysing everyone going in. Bear in mind that the rest of the crowd will have had a swift five or six before the game.

Chris: ignore Nanny JDAW.

Fine. I defer to expertise.

I agree with JDAW, mainly because Daniel has neglected an important fact.

A semi-drunk or drunk CSD is louder and capable of more expletives than everyone else in the Emirates Stadium combined. Drawing attention to oneself when trying to enter a football stadium is rarely a good idea.

This is not the best plan I have ever heard.

Unfortunately, my attendance is now looking very unlikely.

[djewesbury]

But the police at football matches are not looking for people who've had a few drinks. They're looking for maniacs.
Oh, right... I see what you mean..

[flash_uk]

A semi-drunk or drunk CSD is louder and capable of more expletives than everyone else in the Emirates Stadium combined.

Haha. I was thinking just the same thing. I have this image in my head of CSD stumbling in late, bustling past a row of people to get to his seat, and then drawing attention to himself with a tirade of abuse delivered in a plum American accent. And none of this being received well at all by the gooners.

[Alex Bridgeman]

Work is rather brutal at the moment and non-work time extremely precious. Sadly, I'm highly unlikely to be able to make it to join you for dinner on the 15th - family commitments are going to get in the way.

[Chris Doty]

A semi-drunk or drunk CSD is louder and capable of more expletives than everyone else in the Emirates Stadium combined.

aww....that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me!

[Chris Doty]

Sadly, I'm highly unlikely to be able to make it to join you for dinner on the 15th - family commitments are going to get in the way.

Would it sweeten the pot if I told you we are planning on meeting for lunch, rather than dinner? Since when am I not sufficiently precious?!

[Chris Doty]

Unfortunately, my attendance is now looking very unlikely.

wtf!? be a man.

[jdaw1]

I have spoken with the lovely-voiced Gael, who has changed our reservation to two people at 1:30. She will be on duty and will come by for a quality-control sip.

Chris: two of us, Sunday lunch. One bottle (with supplements acquired in situ) or two?

No placemats.

[Chris Doty]

I am bringing 3 (maaaybe 3.5).

Do as you wish

[DRT]

Chris: two of us, Sunday lunch. One bottle (with supplements acquired in situ) or two?

I am bringing 3 (maaaybe 3.5).

Do as you wish

What could go wrong?

[jdaw1]

Mr Doty,

You are a fabulous chap. Most of all, fabulously insane. The modern world much underrates insanity as an imaginative force, for good and for bad. And yours is all good.

But three bottles between two people ought to be enough at Sunday lunch. Indeed, some duller folks of softer appetites and minds might think, or attempt to think, that there could be leftovers taken to chez JDAW — instead of being taken to the Emirates Stadium. So rather than bringing another bottle, S-i-t-S lunch is on me.

— JDAW.

[jdaw1]

Chris: two of us, Sunday lunch. One bottle (with supplements acquired in situ) or two?

I am bringing 3 (maaaybe 3.5).

Do as you wish

What could go wrong?

Indeed, what could go wrong?

[djewesbury]

I hope the adjacent diners realise how privileged they are.

[jdaw1]

No placemats.

I am bringing 3 (maaaybe 3.5).

Change of mind: updated draft of the placemats.

• New event header;
• –DRT.

I’ll print.

[jdaw1]

Being early I've started with an IPA. Then Chris arrives, with five bottles. Lunch for two: what could go wrong?

[DRT]

Hello?

Is anybody there?

Should we send a search party?

[PhilW]

Hope all is well in Wiseman-Doty land; Awaiting fabulous tales.

[DRT]

Almost 30 hours have passed since the last sighting. The Coast Guard are considering calling off the search.

We shall remember them fondly. True heroes.

[djewesbury]

They went down without a whimper. No headllines in the Metro, no chatter amongst the bellboys of the Strand. No candles were lit in the Savoy. All rather disappointing.

[DRT]

It is always the same when Special Forces go M.I.A. No publicity allowed to protect national security.

[djewesbury]

It is always the same when Special Forces go M.I.A. No publicity allowed to protect national security.

Speaking of which, your minutes in the Paras seem to overlap with your years breeding horses. Was it the Equine Parachute Regiment? The Cavalry Paratroopers? Such a waste of a good horse, but they look wonderful when they're going down.

[jdaw1]

Report from the front, Sir!

[DRT]

your decades in the Paras

Hush! I might be needed at any time. Anonymity might be crucial to the outcome.

As you were.

[djewesbury]

Derek, thanks for drawing my attention to the error in my post above - I've corrected it now.

[jdaw1]

Links:

• Review of the lunch as a whole;
• 1983 Warre (‘I’);
• 1983 Dow (‘II’);
• 1983 Cockburn (‘III’);
• 1980 Gould Campbell (half, ‘IV’);
• 1980 Gould Campbell (half, ‘V’);
• Placemats;
• Planning and arrangements.