The Port Forum Offline #2 - 1st Sep 2007

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 08:56 Fri 03 Aug 2007

I have a copy of The Justified Ancients of Mu-Mu's (aka The JAMMS, aka KLF) classic "It's Grim Up North" which I could have brought along for the occasion.

Post by **DRT** » 23:03 Fri 03 Aug 2007

Jay P wrote: The lineup looks great, the people fantastic, but I think I will need to miss this one due to work. Please toast me (and with the 27, not the 2000!) and enjoy what looks likely to be a night to remember!

Jay

Jay,

We will indeed toast an absent friend with a Fonseca Bin 27

It's a great shame that you can't join us. Let us know if you ever plan to visit the UK and we'll try to set something up that makes up for you missing out on the fun this time.

Derek

Post by **jdaw1** » 23:16 Fri 03 Aug 2007

I’ve found internet access. Yes, I’m in.

Ghandih · Post by **Ghandih** » 10:52 Sat 04 Aug 2007

jdaw1 wrote:
Ghandih wrote:Should the nets be thrown out on the other side of the boat, to see what we might drag up?
Where do you think you came from?

Wasn't there a stork or something?

Subject to the financial proviso, I'm in. Does this earlyish confirmation increase my chances of somewhere to sleep? I could bring a tent if necessary, but it's bound to be raining, and presumably the garden has been concreted over?

Ghhhhandi

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 12:07 Sat 04 Aug 2007

Sleeping shouldn't be an issue. Unless you've got very high standards or are a major fussy bugger!
Debs and I, as well as our own room, have a box room and a large bedroom with two singles. So thats 3 of you, and we can easily put another camp bed type in the large room. We also have 3 large Settee's. You'll also find in a previous Post to Jdaw1 a nearby Pub and a relatively nearby good Hotel. So we can accomodate allsorts.
The idea is to muck in. Bring an overnight bag, and ignore the dodgey bedrooms. Mine and Debs is lovely and plush...but hard luck! Downstairs is neat and tidy, and if you manage to look down your noses at the decor of the bedrooms, the previous night must have been crap as well! (Now with all that Fonseca...whats the chances?)
If I keep on the right side of Debs, she'll do a very unhealthy Northern Fry Up in the morning. It will consist of varying types of dead farmyard animals cut into edible portions, toast and a huge cup of tea/coffee. (Paracetemol optional)

So that is what can loosely be called a plan. Now there's always 'the individualist', but we try to cater for them as well. This image below is of a Deranged Celt, who happened upon around 8 bottles of half decent Port, and with me by his side, had a good go at drinking them all. He had a penchant for expenses cigars, and after deciding he had definitely had his fair share, decided to setup camp where he sat!

Debs put a blanket around him, looked at a pointlessly smiling me, and mumbled 'Idiots' before retiring.
If your really adventurous, you can kip under the stars...

...but really!!!

So choose your level of accomodation...and dive in.

Alan

Post by **DRT** » 22:20 Sat 04 Aug 2007

I will bring a sleeping bag and a pillow. Couch does for me, especially as it is only 5 yards from patio so not as far to go as the spare bedroom

Gandihhh, please note that all the port glasses in the above photograph are empty. By this point in the evening all I had to keep me awake was half of a rather nice cuban cigar (a Coppa Cabana, I think?) and Alan's crap jokes.

Derek

Ghandih · Post by **Ghandih** » 19:11 Tue 07 Aug 2007

It all looks immensely civil, doesn't it? And this is really St Helens rather than Church Crookham? Gosh.

I will bring an overnight kit myself, and either grab a sofa or a cumfy bit of floor that not's swaying too much.

I like the late night photo, too. I've been known to have a cigar when tipsy, but tend to only manage little ones. jdaw, by contrast, has a veritable stock of long ones, though whether he can access them (they're locked up in Blighty somewhere, cos the Yanks don't approve of Cubans) is another matter. Anyway, I can't see him managing one after all that port. Makes your head hurt.

Love the sound of the Northern Fry-Up, too. Black Pud and everything, I shouldn't wonder! It's amazing how they manage to soak up all the headache.

Just one other thing. I'm getting a bit concerned about the prospect of Alan's jokes. Is there anything that can be done?!

Ganhdi

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 20:04 Tue 07 Aug 2007

No - they just happen. I tried to make it obvious by banging my head against the table but they just kept coming.

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 22:11 Tue 07 Aug 2007

You guys can have the 'No Joke Package'

It involves wearing a red sparkley Cowboy Hat and Fluffy Slippers. But no jokes, definitley no jokes.

Post by **DRT** » 22:19 Tue 07 Aug 2007

Don't believe him. I wore the fluffy slippers last time and the jokes still continued - unfortunately, you can't see the slippers in the photo

Derek

PS: Well done Gahhhhhndhhhi, a sure fire entry in Apostrophe Crimes

uncle tom · Post by **uncle tom** » 08:16 Sat 11 Aug 2007

I've been trying to fit this event into my diary, but the timing really couldn't be worse. Even if I did make it up to St Helens, I would have to drive back again in the morning before I could be sure of being sober...

So I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass on this one.

For my sins I will donate a modest bottle...

Tom

Post by **DRT** » 09:00 Sat 11 Aug 2007

Tom,

This is a great shame. It would have been good to have you with us.

What a very kind gesture, although I struggle to see how anyone could describe a Fonseca 1927 as a modest bottle

:lol:

I will be in touch offline.

Derek

Post by **DRT** » 16:19 Sat 11 Aug 2007

With the loss of Tom, understandably, comes the loss of the 1927 from the lineup. However, Tom has very graciously offered to allow us to purchase the other bottles he had offered to supply. This means that if we want to stick to the Fonseca theme the lineup will be as follows:

1920
1963
1966
1970
1975
1977
1980
1983
1985
1992
2000

I will email the attendees with info on cost.

Derek

Post by **jdaw1** » 21:09 Sat 11 Aug 2007

Call me a big girl’s blouse if you must, but eleven bottles is too many for five people. Even assuming that the dodgy 1920 is undrinkable, ten is OTT. We should cull one or two.

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 21:29 Sat 11 Aug 2007

Post by **DRT** » 22:48 Sat 11 Aug 2007

jdaw1 wrote:Call me a big girl’s blouse if you must, but eleven bottles is too many for five people. Even assuming that the dodgy 1920 is undrinkable, ten is OTT. We should cull one or two.

OK, you're a big girl's blouse

Seriously, I don't see the problem. Suppose we only drink the equivalent 6 of them on the night. All that means is that we each have some nice port to take away and drink over the following couple of days. Waste? What waste?

Derek

Andy Velebil · Post by **Andy Velebil** » 02:52 Sun 12 Aug 2007

Sorry I am going to miss this, but let me assure you, that is NOT too many bottles for this group of Port drinkers. Derek and I have done some serious damage just between the 2 of us last time we were in Portugal. And that was after drinking all day at a couple of Quintas

So 11 bottles sounds just about right.

Guys have a fun time and raise a glass for me, as I will be there in spirit.

Post by **jdaw1** » 11:53 Sun 12 Aug 2007

I’m in for the OTT plan.

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 17:32 Sun 12 Aug 2007

Shame about Tom, but the line up sounds great. I'll do my 2 bottles worth, and I'll try to help the stragglers!!!
So roll on the F Plan. Are you going to collect it all Derek and take Money on the night, or do you want anything upfront?
The weather seems to have finally changed, so fingers crossed.
I've got a Router on the computer, so there is the wireless facility, if anyone brings a laptop. I haven't got one myself, but I can probably aquire one. One of Debs kids uses his regularly when he visits. I've also got a limited WebCam, but no microphone at the moment.

Alan

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 18:52 Sun 12 Aug 2007

I'll bring my lap-dog, but I'm not sure what good a chihuahua will do for us.

Post by **jdaw1** » 21:32 Sun 12 Aug 2007

We should also have a digital camera, a means of loading pictures therefrom into a computer, and that computer should have an FTP program.

Post by **DRT** » 17:25 Mon 13 Aug 2007

I will arrange to pick-up the wines from Tom and let you know the arrangements for money transfer individually by PM or email.

I will also bring my camera and laptop and have the means to publish pictures on flickr.com so no FTP program required.

Derek

Todd P · Post by **Todd P** » 19:16 Mon 13 Aug 2007

Have a really great time you guys - I truly wish I could be there… what a fabulous line-up.

Todd

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 20:01 Mon 13 Aug 2007

Cheers Todd and you other guys who can't attend.
Just remember that frontier spirit that forged North America into the Beacon of Sagacity and Peace it is today!
(In other words, if you wake up the day before, saying "Ah,blow it, I'm off to Conky's!"...We'll save you a seat.

)

Alan

Todd P · Post by **Todd P** » 20:19 Mon 13 Aug 2007

Conky wrote:Cheers Todd and you other guys who can't attend.
Just remember that frontier spirit that forged North America into the Beacon of Sagacity and Peace it is today!
(In other words, if you wake up the day before, saying "Ah,blow it, I'm off to Conky's!"...We'll save you a seat. )

Alan

Alan, if I were to wake up and say something like that, then one fo two very dramatic things would have happened the night before:
1 (happily) I won the lottery
2 (unhappily) my wife left me and took the kids

Either event would probably drive to that rash type of decision!

How better to deal with either event than to go back in time with a fairly deep vertical of Fonseca. (If I had won the lottery, I would have to arrange a stop by Tom's cellar in order to purchase my fair share into the event!

Todd

Post by **jdaw1** » 22:01 Mon 13 Aug 2007

Derek T. wrote:I will also bring my camera and laptop and have the means to publish pictures on flickr.com so no FTP program required.

Being old and so distrustful of all this modern fly-by-night nonsense, I prefer to upload them to my website. If an FTP thingie-do-dah could be managed, along with a basic picture scaler and trimmer, it would make me marginally more happy than a Fonseca vertical would be itself. (But it’s marginal: these small numbers are swamped by the orders-of-magnitude bigger Fonseca factor.)

Thanks.

Post by **DRT** » 11:58 Tue 14 Aug 2007

Does you website have an FTP-thingy-do-da that I could access from here to try uploading a picture?

The reason I ask is that I have no idea whether or not my laptop has an FTP-thingy-do-da of its own.

Derek

Post by **DRT** » 12:01 Tue 14 Aug 2007

Todd P wrote: ...if I were to wake up and say something like that, then one fo two very dramatic things would have happened the night before:
1 (happily) I won the lottery
2 (unhappily) my wife left me and took the kids

Todd,

What if 1 and 2 happened simultaneously?

Derek

Post by **jdaw1** » 12:08 Tue 14 Aug 2007

Derek T. wrote:Does you website have an FTP-thingy-do-da that I could access from here to try uploading a picture?

Not really. Try the main help menu, and look for FTP.

Or download something like SmartFTP.com (being a Mac boy I haven’t used this myself, so can’t vouch for it). Maybe work IT will be able to recommend. Ghhhhhhhandi: you’re a windows laddie who maintains a small website: recommendations?

Ghandih · Post by **Ghandih** » 17:36 Tue 14 Aug 2007

I'm sorry, but this conversation has got so very dull that I'm not sure I really care. Why do we want an effty floppit anyway?

I guess if it's so that absent friends can join us vicariously, I withdraw my grumble - that is a very noble thing - but don't ask me how to do it. I'm only just cottoning on to the fact that all my friends' pictures now live on facebook. Do I really want an account of my own?

hGandi

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 18:59 Tue 14 Aug 2007

Gandhi,

Well said. I find it hard to take Tasting Notes, never mind all this technical stuff!
Look on the bright side, while these techno-wizards are doing their thing, we'll drink Port and sort the world out.

Alan

Post by **DRT** » 21:12 Tue 14 Aug 2007

jdaw,

What about a compromise? We will use flickr.com on the night, cos it works and is very easy to do, and we also transfer all of the photo's onto CD so that you can take them home to floptidop them onto your website another day?

Derek

Post by **jdaw1** » 22:05 Tue 14 Aug 2007

Derek T. wrote:What about a compromise?

That you avert your gaze as I cope? Agreed!

Ghandih · Post by **Ghandih** » 09:01 Fri 17 Aug 2007

So is this all this fuss just so we can take some photos and upload them for our PTF chums to see? Blimey.

Maybe you should just check with them that they really want to look at pictures of us smugly tucking into pukka port? Are you so sure that will be pleasant? Oh look, doesn't Ghandih look trolleyed in this one!

Conky, I'm with you. I'm sure I've sorted the world out in the past, but I always forget to write the answer down. Maybe we could get the techies to record our ramblings, so that we can pick out the solution the next morning, over the fry-up!

Gahndi

Post by **DRT** » 11:05 Fri 17 Aug 2007

Ghandih,

Don't let Conky fool you into thinking he is an honourable chap. The photo of me in this thread (drunk, smoking and sleeping on Conky's patio) was posted on the internet before I woke up 30 minutes after it was taken

Oh, and AHB requested that we have some means of posting near real time TN's and photos so that he can join us in spirit as he sits at home watching Big Brother and sipping a glass of Fonseca Bin27

Derek

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 14:53 Fri 17 Aug 2007

Thats called having a sense of humour!

Not being a Technical Anorak.

Alan

Post by **DRT** » 22:46 Fri 17 Aug 2007

The F Plan is now a certainty. The wines have been secured from each supplier and cash is begining to change hands. We now need to turn our attention to less important matters, in order of priority:

1. Glasses: we need lots of these. I have around 12 proper port glasses. KillerB has a few and Conky (I think) has a few. We probably have between 20 and 30 between the three of us against a maximum requirement of 55. Conky - is there anywhere close to you who could supply around 30 proper port glasses on loan for the evening?

2. Tasting Mats: jdaw, please do your stuff

3. Food: suggestions for what we eat for (a) a meal, (b) mid taste snacks and (c) late night port-soak-up feast

4. Cigars: I think I smoked all Conky's last time - do we need to bring some along?

5. Accommodation: Can Chez Conky cope with 4 drunk men overnight?

6. Internet Access: sorted

7. The Lovely Debs: Is some sort of compensatory gift in order in return for (a) having 5 drunk men stay in her house (b) a life ahead with Conky and (c) cooking us breakfast (this item should probably have a higher priority)

8. Travel Arrangements: Is everyone sorted on getting to Conky's?

Derek

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 00:12 Sat 18 Aug 2007

Derek T. wrote:The F Plan is now a certainty. The wines have been secured from each supplier and cash is begining to change hands. We now need to turn our attention to less important matters, in order of priority:

1. Glasses: we need lots of these. I have around 12 proper port glasses. KillerB has a few and Conky (I think) has a few. We probably have between 20 and 30 between the three of us against a maximum requirement of 55. Conky - is there anywhere close to you who could supply around 30 proper port glasses on loan for the evening? I have 8, I can get more

2. Tasting Mats: jdaw, please do your stuff

3. Food: suggestions for what we eat for (a) a meal, (b) mid taste snacks and (c) late night port-soak-up feast I have a few things to bring along, I have a very good source of sausages

4. Cigars: I think I smoked all Conky's last time - do we need to bring some along?

5. Accommodation: Can Chez Conky cope with 4 drunk men overnight?

6. Internet Access: sorted

7. The Lovely Debs: Is some sort of compensatory gift in order in return for (a) having 5 drunk men stay in her house (b) a life ahead with Conky and (c) cooking us breakfast (this item should probably have a higher priority) I had every intention of bringing along appropriate pleasantries

8. Travel Arrangements: Is everyone sorted on getting to Conky's? Near Skem somewhere

Derek

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 00:16 Sat 18 Aug 2007

Your quite right, it now needs firming up.

1. Leave it with me for a few days. I've got 4. But I'll speak to a few licencee mates.
2.
3. I can get a basic selection of cheese, crackers and chocolate. Anyone any more imaginative ideas?
4. I've got one nice cigar each. Partagas. You dont normally need more than one a night, but if anyone thinks otherwise, maybe they could arrange.
5. That should be a breeze. Again, not the greatest. But small box room, single bed. Large bedroom, two singles and a put up bed. Thats not considering the sleep where you drop types, couches,etc.
6.
7. I'm sure she like a bunch of flowers as a gesture. But dont go overboard.
8. I'm already here!!! Julian, looks like I'm still down to collect you. We'll have to PM closer to the day to arrange Pink Carnations in button holes etc.

What time are we considering? Suppose it'll have to start when the last one can get here. Anyone got something on that day?
Last time with Derek was pretty casual. A few cold beers, a chinese. and we cracked on. I presume we want clean fresh palate's for this tasting, but still a beer or two, and what about a meal before?
I haven't got a decent filter for my 85. I'll keep on the look out. Closer to the day, we're going to have to discuss decant times.

Alan

Post by **jdaw1** » 11:57 Sat 18 Aug 2007

Will do mats Sunday or Monday. Is there a final really-final list of ports? Conky: what is the largest paper size onto which you can print? Does your office have legal (and how large is UK legal?)? Failing legal, A3?

Other things: please keep something approximating to a list of costs, so that my share is not forgotten.

Post by **jdaw1** » 12:09 Sat 18 Aug 2007

Conky wrote:Pink Carnations in button holes

Flowers in button holes are too smelly. But, on the subject of dress code, I will have my DJ with me: do we want to be that formal? Adds a sense of grandeur.

Conky wrote:A few cold beers

We have lots of port: no beer for me thanks.

Conky wrote:I haven't got a decent filter for my 85.

I’ll bring my portable funnel and filter.

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 12:32 Sat 18 Aug 2007

jdaw1 wrote:
Conky wrote:Pink Carnations in button holes
Flowers in button holes are too smelly. But, on the subject of dress code, I will have my DJ with me: do we want to be that formal? Adds a sense of grandeur.

A personal DJ? Wow. I was considering hiring Fatboy Slim for the night but if you've got your own, why bother?

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 14:23 Sat 18 Aug 2007

Gentlemen,

I have a HP Photosmart C5180 All-in-One. It seems it doesn't do A3. If thats right, I'm not at work at the moment, so can anyone else take the larger Table Mats off Julian, and bring them up?

I have 'Black Tie', and cant argue it'll look great in photo's and adds to the sense of occassion. I'll go along with it if the majority want it, but I'm voting against it. I go to enough Black Tie/Jacket & Tie functions, and wear a tie at work. Its more of an interesting occassion for me if its relaxed and casual. But I'm nothing if I'm not democratic. Views please.

Thanks for the filter offer, and as you get there early enough, it'll fit in with any agreed Decanting times.

I've started the negotiation on glasses. I'm taking one to a licencee tomorrow to let him have a look. He's saying it sounds like an Eldon Glass??? But says he should be able to help either way. Do I want 60 if borrowed or rented, and 40 if purchase?

Alan

Post by **DRT** » 19:41 Sat 18 Aug 2007

I don't have a personal DJ and have no plans to get one so it will be casual dress for me.

For the next 2 weeks I will have access to an A3 colour printer.

The final final final list is:

Fonseca 1920
Fonseca 1963
Fonseca 1966
Fonseca 1970
Fonseca 1975
Fonseca 1977
Fonseca 1980
Fonseca 1983
Fonseca 1985
Fonseca 1992
Fonseca 2000

Derek

Post by **jdaw1** » 22:37 Sat 18 Aug 2007

Colour printers typically have output that smudges if wet: no good for this task. Please test.

Eleven glasses looks best on something as wide as A4 but longer: US legal my usual preference. Do any have such a size of paper?

Post by **DRT** » 08:23 Sun 19 Aug 2007

Perhaps the best solution is for you to bring them with you, provided you will have access to the necessary printing facilities before you depart for the UK.

I will test the colour printer next week. I think it is a colour laser printer rather than the ink/bubble-jet type so it may be fit for purpose although paper sizes are limited to A4 or A3.

Derek

Post by **jdaw1** » 21:30 Sun 19 Aug 2007

I am now back online, officially.

Post by **jdaw1** » 22:06 Sun 19 Aug 2007

Fonseca tasting placemats, and, for absolutely no good reason at all, a psychedelic version.

Please would someone check the various details that are on the placemats.

Post by **DRT** » 22:15 Sun 19 Aug 2007

jdaw,

Excellent, although I think I could live without the psychedelic version!

Please deduct £10 from the price of the F63 as I quoted the wrong price, which has now been corrected by Tom. We will sort out the adjustment to contributions on the night.

Are you planning to bring the mats and labels with you or do you need someone to print them here in Blighty?

Derek

Post by **DRT** » 22:28 Sun 19 Aug 2007

Decanting Times

Here is my plan for decanting the wines. All wines will be decanted and then returned almost immediately to their original bottle and kept as close to cellar temperature as can be achieved until the arrive at Conky's. The bottles will only be stoppered for 1-2hrs during transportation.

Please feel free to disagree and put forward an alternative for any or all wines:

F20 - 3 Hours
F63 - 6 Hours
F66 - 6 Hours
F70 - 10 Hours
F75 - 8 Hours
F77 - 10 Hours
F80 - 10 Hours
F83 - 10 Hours
F85 - suggest 24 Hours (Conky's)
F92 - 10 Hours
F00 - 48 Hours

Derek

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