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Fine. I defer to expertise.

djewesbury wrote:He's not going to be stumbling and slurring. Policing at the Emirates doesn't include breathalysing everyone going in. Bear in mind that the rest of the crowd will have had a swift five or six before the game.

Chris: ignore Nanny JDAW.

jdaw1 wrote:Fine. I defer to expertise.

I agree with JDAW, mainly because Daniel has neglected an important fact.

A semi-drunk or drunk CSD is louder and capable of more expletives than everyone else in the Emirates Stadium combined. Drawing attention to oneself when trying to enter a football stadium is rarely a good idea.

This is not the best plan I have ever heard.

Unfortunately, my attendance is now looking very unlikely.

But the police at football matches are not looking for people who've had a few drinks. They're looking for maniacs.
Oh, right... I see what you mean..

DRT wrote: A semi-drunk or drunk CSD is louder and capable of more expletives than everyone else in the Emirates Stadium combined.

Haha. I was thinking just the same thing. I have this image in my head of CSD stumbling in late, bustling past a row of people to get to his seat, and then drawing attention to himself with a tirade of abuse delivered in a plum American accent. And none of this being received well at all by the gooners.

Work is rather brutal at the moment and non-work time extremely precious. Sadly, I'm highly unlikely to be able to make it to join you for dinner on the 15th - family commitments are going to get in the way.

DRT wrote:
A semi-drunk or drunk CSD is louder and capable of more expletives than everyone else in the Emirates Stadium combined.

aww....that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me!

AHB wrote: Sadly, I'm highly unlikely to be able to make it to join you for dinner on the 15th - family commitments are going to get in the way.

Would it sweeten the pot if I told you we are planning on meeting for lunch, rather than dinner? Since when am I not sufficiently precious?!

DRT wrote:
Unfortunately, my attendance is now looking very unlikely.

wtf!? be a man.

I have spoken with the lovely-voiced Gael, who has changed our reservation to two people at 1:30. She will be on duty and will come by for a quality-control sip.

Chris: two of us, Sunday lunch. One bottle (with supplements acquired in situ) or two?

No placemats.

I am bringing 3 (maaaybe 3.5).

Do as you wish

jdaw1 wrote:Chris: two of us, Sunday lunch. One bottle (with supplements acquired in situ) or two?

Chris Doty wrote:I am bringing 3 (maaaybe 3.5).

Do as you wish

What could go wrong?

Mr Doty,

You are a fabulous chap. Most of all, fabulously insane. The modern world much underrates insanity as an imaginative force, for good and for bad. And yours is all good.

But three bottles between two people ought to be enough at Sunday lunch. Indeed, some duller folks of softer appetites and minds might think, or attempt to think, that there could be leftovers taken to chez JDAW — instead of being taken to the Emirates Stadium. So rather than bringing another bottle, S-i-t-S lunch is on me.

— JDAW.

DRT wrote:

jdaw1 wrote:Chris: two of us, Sunday lunch. One bottle (with supplements acquired in situ) or two?

Chris Doty wrote:I am bringing 3 (maaaybe 3.5).

Do as you wish

What could go wrong?

Indeed, what could go wrong?

I hope the adjacent diners realise how privileged they are.

jdaw1 wrote:No placemats.

Chris Doty wrote:I am bringing 3 (maaaybe 3.5).

Change of mind: updated draft of the placemats.

• New event header;
• –DRT.

I’ll print.

Being early I've started with an IPA. Then Chris arrives, with five bottles. Lunch for two: what could go wrong?

Hello?

Is anybody there?

Should we send a search party?

Hope all is well in Wiseman-Doty land; Awaiting fabulous tales.

Almost 30 hours have passed since the last sighting. The Coast Guard are considering calling off the search.

We shall remember them fondly. True heroes.

They went down without a whimper. No headllines in the Metro, no chatter amongst the bellboys of the Strand. No candles were lit in the Savoy. All rather disappointing.

It is always the same when Special Forces go M.I.A. No publicity allowed to protect national security.

DRT wrote:It is always the same when Special Forces go M.I.A. No publicity allowed to protect national security.

Speaking of which, your minutes in the Paras seem to overlap with your years breeding horses. Was it the Equine Parachute Regiment? The Cavalry Paratroopers? Such a waste of a good horse, but they look wonderful when they're going down.

Report from the front, Sir!

djewesbury wrote:your decades in the Paras

Hush! I might be needed at any time. Anonymity might be crucial to the outcome.

As you were.

Derek, thanks for drawing my attention to the error in my post above - I've corrected it now.