It's just not cricket

Post by **jdaw1** » 09:51 Sun 12 Jul 2015

BBC: England unchanged against Australia for Lord's Test.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 20:46 Sun 12 Jul 2015

DRT wrote:
djewesbury wrote:England won. Cook's captaincy was supreme. Derek, sometimes you just want something to complain about. Bad luck. Cook was invaluable in the field - several absolutely stunning catches not to mention the actual field setting. You remind me of a carp when you are carping.
And you remind me of Jimmy Hill when England are winning. One test does not make a summer.

A time will come soon when Bell and Cook will need to perform with bat in hand and on the evidence of the last four days they might be found wanting. That is all.

I agree with Owen that both sides contributed to England's victory - a victory that was well deserved.

I'm not saying they won the Ashes. I just think you're churlish to look so hard for the flaws. Two of Cook's catches alone were each worth 20+ runs.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 21:03 Sun 12 Jul 2015

I fear that with two losses and only the one win that Scotland are going to struggle to qualify for the ICC Twenty20 World Cup later this year.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 21:28 Sun 12 Jul 2015

AHB wrote:I fear that with two losses and only the one win that Scotland are going to struggle to qualify for the ICC Twenty20 World Cup later this year.

I saw this report too on the Beeb and thought of asking for a quote from our Scottish sports correspondent, but he seems to have rather forsaken the team of his nation for the Sassenachs. I bet he hasn't even got a sporran.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 16:35 Mon 13 Jul 2015

LGTrotter wrote:
AHB wrote:I fear that with two losses and only the one win that Scotland are going to struggle to qualify for the ICC Twenty20 World Cup later this year.
I saw this report too on the Beeb and thought of asking for a quote from our Scottish sports correspondent, but he seems to have rather forsaken the team of his nation for the Sassenachs.

Quite frankly, I can understand why. It must be a little embarrassing that your national team only qualifies to play cricket in England as a minor county alongside Berkshire and Cornwall - only slightly less successfully.

Post by **DRT** » 19:05 Mon 13 Jul 2015

AHB wrote:
LGTrotter wrote:
AHB wrote:I fear that with two losses and only the one win that Scotland are going to struggle to qualify for the ICC Twenty20 World Cup later this year.
I saw this report too on the Beeb and thought of asking for a quote from our Scottish sports correspondent, but he seems to have rather forsaken the team of his nation for the Sassenachs.
Quite frankly, I can understand why. It must be a little embarrassing that your national team only qualifies to play cricket in England as a minor county alongside Berkshire and Cornwall - only slightly less successfully.

Embarrassing? No, just a reality. But then we are not allowed to mention realities here otherwise we might upset Jimmy Daniel

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 07:02 Tue 14 Jul 2015

Now then...

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 00:41 Wed 15 Jul 2015

AHB wrote:
LGTrotter wrote:
AHB wrote:I fear that with two losses and only the one win that Scotland are going to struggle to qualify for the ICC Twenty20 World Cup later this year.
I saw this report too on the Beeb and thought of asking for a quote from our Scottish sports correspondent, but he seems to have rather forsaken the team of his nation for the Sassenachs.
Quite frankly, I can understand why. It must be a little embarrassing that your national team only qualifies to play cricket in England as a minor county alongside Berkshire and Cornwall - only slightly less successfully.

Minor counties hold many pleasures for the conoisseur, one of the pleasures of the summer is hiring a deck chair for a pound at Sidmouth and watching Devon play. Cider is available and there is an excellent croquet lawn behind. They might not be a pound anymore.

Post by **PhilW** » 07:47 Wed 15 Jul 2015

LGTrotter wrote:Cider is available and there is an excellent croquet lawn behind.

According to the BBC you may struggle to find anyone who knows how to play; though with enough cider, you may not care.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 07:59 Wed 15 Jul 2015

I know how to play! Shall we have a new thread, "it's just not croquet?"

Post by **PhilW** » 08:53 Wed 15 Jul 2015

djewesbury wrote:I know how to play! Shall we have a new thread, "it's just not croquet?"

Only if we merge it with the thread "it's just not punny?"

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 09:05 Wed 15 Jul 2015

Veering back momentarily to the cricket, I see they've dropped Haddin and will have a novice keeping wicket. The heavy, humid conditions in London at present surely favour us as well. I feel calm and confident.

Derek, any predictions, since your barometer is so finely calibrated at present?

Post by **flash_uk** » 09:14 Wed 15 Jul 2015

djewesbury wrote:Veering back momentarily to the cricket, I see they've dropped Haddin and will have a novice keeping wicket. The heavy, humid conditions in London at present surely favour us as well. I feel calm and confident.

Derek, any predictions, since your barometer is so finely calibrated at present?

Winning the toss will as ever play a part...

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 11:12 Wed 15 Jul 2015

I see Moeen is a doubtful for the next test. I think the bearded Gower will be missed, but on the other hand I am most interested to see how Rashid does, if as expected he gets a go. Cook has not been good at using new bowlers and I fear that Rashid may not get used much even if he is picked.

Haddin and Watson leaving the Australian side will not be a disaster for them, but I know nothing of the proposed replacements.

I still think Lords will favour the Australians but I understand a dryish, softish pitch has been made which might be good for spin later, the toss may indeed prove significant. On the other hand Lords has always been a difficult pitch to bowl on because of the slope and the Australians did not look like a disciplined bowling attack at Cardiff.

Post by **DRT** » 16:27 Wed 15 Jul 2015

djewesbury wrote:Derek, any predictions, since your barometer is so finely calibrated at present?

I think that the team that wins the toss will win the Test. They could all save themselves a lot of time by listening to my prediction.

benread · Post by **benread** » 16:28 Wed 15 Jul 2015

That might hurt the Lord's coffers on lost sales of fizz!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 18:59 Wed 15 Jul 2015

DRT wrote:
djewesbury wrote:Derek, any predictions, since your barometer is so finely calibrated at present?
I think that the team that wins the toss will win the Test. They could all save themselves a lot of time by listening to my prediction.

That is not such a bad prediction. I might refine it by saying whoever bats first will win.

Post by **DRT** » 08:42 Thu 16 Jul 2015

LGTrotter wrote:
DRT wrote:
djewesbury wrote:Derek, any predictions, since your barometer is so finely calibrated at present?
I think that the team that wins the toss will win the Test. They could all save themselves a lot of time by listening to my prediction.
That is not such a bad prediction. I might refine it by saying whoever bats first will win.

Indeed - I hadn't considered either of them winning the toss and making the wrong decision

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 09:40 Thu 16 Jul 2015

Australia have fulfilled both conditions having won the toss and elected to bat. If everybody could move towards the exit as Derek and I have saved us all 5 days.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:32 Thu 16 Jul 2015

England will win and Derek'a losing streak will continue.

Post by **DRT** » 12:08 Thu 16 Jul 2015

djewesbury wrote:England will win and Derek'a losing streak will continue.

Did you say that in an Italian accent?

Post by **PhilW** » 13:54 Thu 16 Jul 2015

DRT wrote:
djewesbury wrote:England will win and Derek'a losing streak will continue.
Did you say that in an Italian accent?

Spanish Infanta.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 16:18 Thu 16 Jul 2015

Bell drops Smith on 50. Thank goodness he isn't the kind of batsman who goes on to score big centuries.

Post by **DRT** » 17:30 Thu 16 Jul 2015

Daniel, I think PaddyPower are still giving good odds on an England win

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 14:10 Fri 17 Jul 2015

There is a ridiculous amount of winking going on here. It's like a Monty Python sketch.

Post by **DRT** » 14:13 Fri 17 Jul 2015

Daniel,

If you are still confident the current odds are well worth a tenner...

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Post by **flash_uk** » 16:04 Fri 17 Jul 2015

Oh dear. An England collapse is fully underway. Root and Cook for double hundreds each?

Post by **flash_uk** » 16:11 Fri 17 Jul 2015

flash_uk wrote:Root and Cook for double hundreds each?

That'll be a no. Root out for 1.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 16:31 Fri 17 Jul 2015

Personally I think this is all Daniel's fault. England will be all out before lunch tomorrow, will follow on and will be dismissed just after tea. Daniel will then be forced to watch goluf all day on Sunday. Or replays of the Lords Test on Austrialan TV.

Post by **DRT** » 16:58 Fri 17 Jul 2015

AHB wrote:Personally I think this is all Daniel's fault. England will be all out before lunch tomorrow, will follow on and will be dismissed just after tea. Daniel will then be forced to watch goluf all day on Sunday. Or replays of the Lords Test on Austrialan TV.

I agree. I did try to warn him last week but he wouldn't listen. It will be a pity if this game is lost without so much as a whimper.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 16:59 Fri 17 Jul 2015

Everybody simmer down. All is not lost. England have been nothing for three for the last five years* and we have still won the odd game, it's being nothing for four which is the problem as Root one of very few England batsmen with any consistent form. 367 is what is needed to avoid the follow on, which might still happen. I think Cook is due a score and Moeen can bat forever.

"But lambkins, we live" as whoever it was said whenever it was.

*Correction; England have been nothing for 3 since Ian Bell moved up the order.

Post by **jdaw1** » 17:58 Fri 17 Jul 2015

Mayhap we will be wondering when, in our second innings, we will declare. Perhaps at 600-4?

Post by **DRT** » 18:50 Fri 17 Jul 2015

jdaw1 wrote:Mayhap we will be wondering when, in our second innings, we will declare. Perhaps at 600-4?

The clever actuaries at PaddyPower appear to think that is unlikely...

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For those unfamiliar with betting odds, 40/1 in a two-horse race with 60% of the distance still to run is rare. It's about the same odds you would get on intelligent life being found on Pluto in the next three days.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 06:26 Sat 18 Jul 2015

Joe Root should be dropped from the side to make way for someone reliable who can score consistently. How many times does a batsman have to fail before he's dropped? Bring back KP, that's what I say!

Post by **DRT** » 07:41 Sat 18 Jul 2015

AHB wrote:Joe Root should be dropped from the side to make way for someone reliable who can score consistently. How many times does a batsman have to fail before he's dropped? Bring back KP, that's what I say!

Perhaps Bell should be bumped up the order and given the Captaincy for being the most consistent batsman in the team?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 12:32 Sat 18 Jul 2015

AHB wrote:Personally I think this is all Daniel's fault. England will be all out before lunch tomorrow, will follow on and will be dismissed just after tea. Daniel will then be forced to watch goluf all day on Sunday. Or replays of the Lords Test on Austrialan TV.

This LIVE from our cricket correspondent at Lord's:

I will not be watching "goluf" nor will I be watching "Austrialan" TV because I don't know where Austriala is.

After an excellent morning's play, I think England are responding very well. Stokes's innings was a real pleasure to watch and he was bowled by a peach. Cook looks well set. I do not now believe they will win - Derek, you can stop checking Paddy Power every five minutes - but , amazingly, I do not think this is over yet. Armchair generals, return to your toy soldiers.

Post by **DRT** » 13:07 Sat 18 Jul 2015

I can confirm from my seat in the Pavilion that the game is more interesting than it was yesterday evening and that the beer is cold.

How are things in the cheap seats Danny?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:20 Sat 18 Jul 2015

These seats are not cheap; and you are not in the pavilion.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:33 Sat 18 Jul 2015

Alex and Derek will not be happy: I enjoyed a 2011 Loron Moulin-à-Vents for lunch. Beaujolais much underrated.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:45 Sat 18 Jul 2015

Derek, what did you think of that streaker, the one who got wrestled to the ground in front of the pavilion and wasn't shown on TV?

Post by **DRT** » 14:01 Sat 18 Jul 2015

djewesbury wrote:Derek, what did you think of that streaker, the one who got wrestled to the ground in front of the pavilion and wasn't shown on TV?

I didn't see it - it must have been when I was eating my roast beef upstairs, which went very well with the Chasse-Spleen 1982.

I'm surprised you can't see me in the pavilion stand. I'm the one with the red and yellow tie and straw hat.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 14:03 Sat 18 Jul 2015

Actually I'm in the Long Room now, what's your seat number..? My cousin's a member..

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 14:08 Sat 18 Jul 2015

Derek had to leave early, apparently, something to do with an act involving a pork pie. Shame. The 6 from Ali was beautiful.

Post by **DRT** » 14:34 Sat 18 Jul 2015

djewesbury wrote:Actually I'm in the Long Room now, what's your seat number..? My cousin's a member..

Just waiting to have tea with the players to give them some sage advice. Will come and find you afterwards.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 14:35 Sat 18 Jul 2015

I'm in the dressing room now! See you in 5 minutes!

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 14:43 Sat 18 Jul 2015

Derek's guru Geoffrey tells us that this game is far from over. England cannot yet be written off. I would listen to that. 285-7 doesn't look that bad in the circumstances.

Post by **DRT** » 14:48 Sat 18 Jul 2015

djewesbury wrote:I'm in the dressing room now! See you in 5 minutes!

What makes you think I would be in the same dressing room as you?

I'm about to explain the Mitch & Mitch how to get a bit more pace out of this pitch

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 14:50 Sat 18 Jul 2015

Oh I saw them a minute ago, taking their antidepressants. Fed up, they were.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 18:28 Sat 18 Jul 2015

I bet that was a good days cricket to be watching, good weather, some runs and some wickets. To sit in the afternoon and watch the Australians bat. It's not all about England winning, I hope you enjoyed yourself today Daniel. I thought your choice of wine with lunch was rather, I hesitate to use the word, doctrinaire...

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 08:28 Sun 19 Jul 2015

Cricket: was excellent, an entirely satisfactory day's play from the spectator's point of view. All the criteria you highlight, Owen.
Wine: this was what was available from the off-licence that used to be Nicolas on St. John's Wood High Street. There were other choices at more inflated prices. This delivered line and length and didn't mess about trying to do stuff it couldn't really pull off.