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Ben Read’s missing apostrophe

Posted: 13:38 Wed 27 Aug 2008
by jdaw1
Make that a triple.

Re: Ben Read’s missing apostrophe

Posted: 21:53 Wed 27 Aug 2008
by benread
jdaw1 wrote:
Make that a triple.
Are there no allowances made for 6.19am on a Wednesday, particularly for those deprived of sleep by a 5 week old?!

Re: Ben Read’s missing apostrophe

Posted: 00:52 Thu 28 Aug 2008
by jdaw1
benread wrote:Are there no allowances made for 6.19am on a Wednesday, particularly for those deprived of sleep by a 5 week old?!
The defence quietly omitted to mention half a bottle of 1987 Delaforce Quinta da Corte.

Re: Ben Read’s missing apostrophe

Posted: 05:29 Thu 28 Aug 2008
by benread
jdaw1 wrote:
benread wrote:Are there no allowances made for 6.19am on a Wednesday, particularly for those deprived of sleep by a 5 week old?!
The defence quietly omitted to mention half a bottle of 1987 Delaforce Quinta da Corte.
It is not clear if that is being accepted as evidence for the defence or used against me by the prosecution?!

Tesco

Posted: 16:40 Sun 31 Aug 2008
by jdaw1
It isn’t an apostrophe crime, but the following story slightly gladdened a pedant’s heart.
The BBC, in a story entitled [url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7590440.stm]Tesco checks out wording change[/url], wrote:Tesco is to change the wording of signs on its fast-track checkouts to avoid any linguistic dispute.

The supermarket giant is to replace its current "10 items or less" notices with signs saying "Up to 10 items".

Tesco's move follows uncertainty over whether the current notices should use "fewer" instead of "less".

The new wording was suggested to Tesco by language watchdog The Plain English Campaign. Tesco said the change would be phased in across its stores.

"Saying up to 10 items is easy to understand and avoids any debate," said a spokesman for The Plain English Campaign.

"Fewer" should be used when you are talking about items that can be counted individually, for example, "fewer than 10 apples".

"Less" is correct when quantities cannot be individually counted in that case, e.g. "I would like less water".

Tesco is the UK's largest supermarket group with 2,106 outlets across the country.
It only slightly gladdens my heart because there is no uncertainty over whether the current notices should use "fewer" instead of "less". It should be “fewer†. The gladdening is further lessened by the use of two consecutive prepositions (“Up to 10 items†), but I’ll take such scraps as I am thrown.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 20:44 Sun 31 Aug 2008
by Glenn E.
I wonder if they're aware that they just lowered the item limit for the lines?

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 02:31 Mon 01 Sep 2008
by Luc
English not being my 1st language , all I can say is : Tabarnouche :shock:

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 20:24 Mon 01 Sep 2008
by JacobH
As non-apostrophic pedantry seems to be becoming allowable, I indite jdaw1 for the following abuse of the double negative:

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 20:44 Mon 01 Sep 2008
by jdaw1
JacobH wrote:As non-apostrophic pedantry seems to be becoming allowable, I indite jdaw1 for the following abuse of the double negative:
Perhaps the song to which that refers is older than you. I think that I have fairly quoted something that has become part of the language.

Also the “wrote here wrote† suggests that you haven’t quite mastered the quotation technology.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:02 Mon 01 Sep 2008
by JacobH
jdaw1 wrote:
JacobH wrote:As non-apostrophic pedantry seems to be becoming allowable, I indite jdaw1 for the following abuse of the double negative:
Perhaps the song to which that refers is older than you. I think that I have fairly quoted something that has become part of the language.
I believe, judging by the wikipedia entry, it’s evens as to whether it would be older than DRT. However, that aside, surely the argument that it “has become part of the language† is a dangerous one, unless one wishes to boldly go to a society free of language pedants…

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:17 Mon 01 Sep 2008
by DRT
JacobH wrote: I believe, judging by the wikipedia entry, it’s evens as to whether it would be older than DRT.
On the assumption that it is this wiki entry you are talking about it seems I am 3 months older than the song. That is if you go by the release date rather than the date it was written or recorded.

I can't get no 1965 VP. :roll:

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:40 Mon 01 Sep 2008
by jdaw1
DRT wrote:this
DRT’s wiki entry forwards to mine. So other than providing the same content and being slower to load, I’m not quite sure what advantages it is purported to provide. My ignorance — no problem.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:53 Mon 01 Sep 2008
by DRT
jdaw1 wrote:
DRT wrote:this
DRT’s wiki entry forwards to mine. So other than providing the same content and being slower to load, I’m not quite sure what advantages it is purported to provide. My ignorance — no problem.
It adds time to allow a sip of VP between web pages.

Re: Devoid

Posted: 17:13 Thu 04 Sep 2008
by KillerB
DRT wrote:
jdaw1 wrote:
DRT wrote:this
DRT’s wiki entry forwards to mine. So other than providing the same content and being slower to load, I’m not quite sure what advantages it is purported to provide. My ignorance — no problem.
It adds time to allow a sip of VP between web pages.
If you go for the Devo version it is "I Can't Get Me No Satisfaction", with a sort of quirky reggae beat. However, when dealing with such problems I suggest that we tell our upper lips to "Be Stiff".

This is the thread for random lyric quotes, is it not?

Andy V’s extra apostrophe

Posted: 16:02 Fri 05 Sep 2008
by jdaw1
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=18031#p18031]Here[/url] Andy V wrote:And who says us American's are the only ones who drink them young
:‘!’:

André L. Simon’s typesetter’s apostrophe crime

Posted: 03:19 Sun 07 Sep 2008
by jdaw1
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=18138#p18138]Here[/url] André Simon was quoted as having sort-of wrote:And much may happen after the newly made wines are sent to the shipper’s lodges and before they are shipped to this or any other country.

Chinese apostrophe crimes

Posted: 02:13 Wed 10 Sep 2008
by jdaw1
Oh my goodness. An “x† where a “à † was meant, and then an entirely gratuitous “'s†. China is buying all the world’s commodities: will she soon start gobbling up all the apostrophes?

Re: Chinese apostrophe crimes

Posted: 03:41 Wed 10 Sep 2008
by g-man
jdaw1 wrote:
Oh my goodness. An “x† where a “à † was meant, and then an entirely gratuitous “'s†. China is buying all the world’s commodities: will she soon start gobbling up all the apostrophes?
i thought the x' would indeed denote the “à † was meant. The gratuitous "s" then would simply imply more the plural version of such statement.

Re: Chinese apostrophe crimes

Posted: 03:57 Wed 10 Sep 2008
by jdaw1
g-man wrote:i thought the x' would indeed denote the “à † was meant. The gratuitous "s" then would simply imply more the plural version of such statement.
Sometimes politicians say things just for the joy of watching their supporters pretend to take them seriously. This is one of those.

Exactly what omission was signified by the “'†? One “à † minus one “x†? And you want that taken seriously (by somebody other than DRT, who will happily pretend to take anything seriously—and I should know, as he thinks he’s my boss)?

Re: Chinese apostrophe crimes

Posted: 04:00 Wed 10 Sep 2008
by g-man
jdaw1 wrote:
g-man wrote:i thought the x' would indeed denote the “à † was meant. The gratuitous "s" then would simply imply more the plural version of such statement.
Sometimes politicians say things just for the joy of watching their supporters pretend to take them seriously. This is one of those.

Exactly what omission was signified by the “'†? One “à † minus one “x†? And you want that taken seriously (by somebody other than DRT, who will happily pretend to take anything seriously—and I should know, as he thinks he’s my boss)?
Clearly the lack of port has clouded my judgment. Rather I've been stuck with a bottle of cheap, but serviceable, bottle of wine that Steph refuses to drink.

Bottoms up.

Re: Chinese apostrophe crimes

Posted: 20:58 Thu 11 Sep 2008
by DRT
jdaw1 wrote:
g-man wrote:i thought the x' would indeed denote the “à † was meant. The gratuitous "s" then would simply imply more the plural version of such statement.
Sometimes politicians say things just for the joy of watching their supporters pretend to take them seriously. This is one of those.

Exactly what omission was signified by the “'†? One “à † minus one “x†? And you want that taken seriously (by somebody other than DRT, who will happily pretend to take anything seriously—and I should know, as he thinks he’s my boss)?
I object. I do not pretend to be serious about being JDAW's boss. I take that responsibility very seriously.

Re: Chinese apostrophe crimes

Posted: 02:39 Fri 12 Sep 2008
by jdaw1
DRT wrote:I do not pretend to be serious about being JDAW's boss. I take that responsibility very seriously.
Note that DRT believes that responsibility for my errors lies with him.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 12:53 Wed 29 Oct 2008
by jdaw1
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=19569#p19569]Here[/url] Andy V wrote:
jdaw1 wrote:
Andy V wrote:Better to air on the side of caution
Commendation for the pun assuming that you meant to substitute ‟air” for ‟err”.
Look, in the past 4 days I've work in the neighborhood of 65+ hours...no Port...I'm tired, cranky, and don't give a rats arse about spelling correctly at the moment...then again, maybe because I just finished a 1/2 bottle of VP after only intending to have one or two glasses ma have something to do with that :mrgreen:
Nor does Andy V give a rat’s arse about an apostrophe.

DRT’s missing apostrophe

Posted: 03:37 Thu 06 Nov 2008
by jdaw1
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=19722#p19722]here[/url] DRT wrote:But Obe Wan Ke-JDAW you have much to teach young Matt Skywalker:
  • !
  • How to check ones use of apostrophes before hitting Submit
This reads as a careless error, not Derek being deliberately facetious.

Re: DRT’s missing apostrophe

Posted: 07:48 Thu 06 Nov 2008
by DRT
jdaw1 wrote:
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=19722#p19722]here[/url] DRT wrote:But Obe Wan Ke-JDAW you have much to teach young Matt Skywalker:
  • !
  • How to check ones use of apostrophes before hitting Submit
This reads as a careless error, not Derek being deliberately facetious.
I'm afraid you are wrong. For once your enthusiasm has allowed you to be sucked into reporting an intentional error. Honest, its true.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 02:00 Wed 12 Nov 2008
by jdaw1
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=19844#p19844]Here[/url] Glenn E. wrote:giving the 1873 it's only shot at a fresh palate.
Glenn E.’s maiden is broken.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 04:10 Wed 12 Nov 2008
by Glenn E.
D'ohh!

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 05:47 Wed 12 Nov 2008
by benread
jdaw1 wrote:
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=19844#p19844]Here[/url] Glenn E. wrote:giving the 1873 it's only shot at a fresh palate.
Glenn E.’s maiden is broken.
If that is intended to be a cricketing analogy, I am not sure "maiden" is the correct term. I would have suggested "off the mark" or in non cricketing terms "lost his virginity"! (Glenn - no offence intended, just a British expression for doing something the first time.)

It is however about time that we had some more cricketing 'drivel', so I prefer the former!

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 09:57 Thu 13 Nov 2008
by DRT
benread wrote: cricketing 'drivel'
What is the opposite of an oximoron? (see example above)

Derek

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 12:59 Thu 13 Nov 2008
by JacobH
DRT wrote:
benread wrote: cricketing 'drivel'
What is the opposite of an oximoron? (see example above)
Tautology?

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 14:30 Thu 13 Nov 2008
by jdaw1
DRT wrote:What is the opposite of an oximoron?
Perhaps ‟oxymoron”, because only one is spelt correctly.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 19:42 Thu 13 Nov 2008
by Glenn E.
DRT wrote:
benread wrote: cricketing 'drivel'
What is the opposite of an oximoron? (see example above)
Redundance.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 17:39 Tue 18 Nov 2008
by DRT
Have the crimes in this thread gone unreported for any particular reason?

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 00:04 Wed 19 Nov 2008
by jdaw1
DRT wrote:Have the crimes in this thread gone unreported for any particular reason?
Ask the Deputy Sheriff.

DRT is guilty

Posted: 21:30 Tue 03 Feb 2009
by jdaw1
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=21920#p21920]Here[/url] DRT wrote:until two weeks ago, had been undisturbed in the Symmington cellar's in VNG since bottling

Re: DRT is guilty

Posted: 21:34 Tue 03 Feb 2009
by DRT
jdaw1 wrote:
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=21920#p21920]Here[/url] DRT wrote:until two weeks ago, had been undisturbed in the Symmington cellar's in VNG since bottling
Damn. I was doing so well.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 01:10 Sun 15 Feb 2009
by jdaw1

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 06:53 Sun 15 Feb 2009
by RonnieRoots

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 00:27 Wed 18 Feb 2009
by jdaw1

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 03:08 Wed 18 Feb 2009
by DRT
Andy V is from L.A. so does not use English as a natural language so should be excluded from ridicule in this thread.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 03:24 Wed 18 Feb 2009
by jdaw1
DRT wrote:Andy V is from L.A. so does not use English as a natural language so should be excluded from ridicule in this thread.
I think you mean, or at least I hope you mean, a first language.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 19:08 Wed 18 Feb 2009
by Glenn E.
jdaw1 wrote:
DRT wrote:Andy V is from L.A. so does not use English as a natural language so should be excluded from ridicule in this thread.
I think you mean, or at least I hope you mean, a first language.
It is presumably no better than his 3rd language, after American and LA Street. :wink:

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:57 Fri 20 Feb 2009
by jdaw1

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 22:21 Fri 20 Feb 2009
by DRT
:(

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 23:26 Fri 20 Feb 2009
by JacobH
jdaw1 wrote:
I just spent far too long puzzling over why jdaw1 would prefer ‟1815’s” to ‟1815s”...

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 00:06 Sat 21 Feb 2009
by jdaw1
:-)

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:29 Wed 25 Feb 2009
by Alex Bridgeman
JacobH wrote:
jdaw1 wrote:
I just spent far too long puzzling over why jdaw1 would prefer ‟1815’s” to ‟1815s”...
I just did the same thing!

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:40 Wed 25 Feb 2009
by jdaw1
Please reassure me that all is now clear.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:44 Wed 25 Feb 2009
by Alex Bridgeman
Please be reassured. All is now clear. Dont worry any futher.

Re: Apostrophe crimes

Posted: 21:46 Wed 25 Feb 2009
by jdaw1
Maybe Axel would like to comment on errors that I might have made in Auktionen von Bundesanleihen: Ein besserer Mechanismus.