ThePortForum.com

In [url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/south_yorkshire/6239782.stm]one of several stories about the recent flooding in northern England[/url], the BBC wrote:Hundreds of people have fled their homes in three villages in South Yorkshire amid fears a dam is about to burst after torrential rain.

…

Elsewhere weather conditions are easing after severe flooding across England.

But Sheffield remained virtually cut off from the rest of the country as the transport infrastructure all but ground to a halt. Bus and rail services are severely disrupted and many major roads are closed.

Are you affected by the flooding? Is your cellar safe?

I have always lived on inclines so that I don't get flooded. I never actually realised that I always chose houses on hills, must be some primeval instinct not to live in Worcestershire.

Cellar would be in danger if I didn't

My office is about half a mile from the worst affected area in Sheffield. Last night's journey home was an adventure never to be repeated.

Jo works in Chesterfield and took 7 hours to travel the 6 miles home last night. During the numerous phone conversations we had it became increasingly clear that the entire natural disaster was all my fault. Luckily, I had been forgiven by the time Jo arrived home.

At this moment I am sitting contemplating whether or not I should venture out onto the underwater road network in an attempt to find my way home. Hopefully the 12 mile trip will not take the 3 hours it did this morning

Like KillerB I choose to live on top of a hill. It gives me a feeling of comfort knowing that I could see Jay approaching in his tank from any side. My "cellar" comprises 2 wine coolers with a capacity of 110 bottles which are situated in an upstairs bedroom. They are not at risk.

Derek

During the numerous phone conversations we had it became increasingly clear that the entire natural disaster was all my fault.

I dont have any problems with flooding, but I do recognise that quote. I am currently the cause of Debs toothache, we just havn't established how or why yet!

Alan

Conky wrote: I am currently the cause of Debs toothache, we just havn't established how or why yet!

I can't see why the second part of your sentence is relevant

Derek

Exactly! - Looking for any other reason is a waste of port drinking time

I moved two weeks ago from a house close to a small river and in the flood plain of the small river to a new house up on a hill overlooking the same floodplain of the same small river.

I am feeling very smug and have offered to get my inflatable beach boat out of my new garage to help out my former neighbours. I will let them know Derek is the person responsible for their plight and pass his contact details on to them.

Is it a criminal offence to be drunk in charge of a dingy? Paddling while pissed? Rowing under the influence?

Alex

I'm checking the Law Books as we speak!

But you've got a Dingy what? and cant it just be cleaned or polished?

You didn't mean a Dinghy? Did you? There is a clear arrestable offence of having charge of a Dinghy, whilst not being able to spell it.
Contrary to the Road & Sea Traffic Act, Section 56 Subsection 3A.

Alan

Conky wrote:Contrary to the Road & Sea Traffic Act, Section 56 Subsection 3A.

That's not a real Law

Aren't you the shrewd one.

I've just poured the last bit of Morgans from the other night. I never decanted it, and I've only sieved it this time. My, there was a lot of crap in it. Its still quite cloudy, so the glass is in the fridge. I'll give it half an hour to fully settle. You cant waste good Port.

Alan

WOW - can't believe you've still got any left

I'm in need of some advice from a wise old friend. It's 23:55 and I have to get up at 06:00 to drive to Doncaster to catch a train to London for an extremely important meeting, accompanied by my boss.

Should I:

1. Go to bed

2. Open a bottle of port and have 1 glass(ish)

I am now entirely in your hands.

Derek

If you were a normal person, I would suggest Night Gown and Candle. But as you've said you only need four hours...Get your arse into gear and have ONE glass, you wimp!
I wish my half hour would hurry up. I want MY nightcap.

Alan

OKI - TN on it's way

Have you started that nightcap yet? If you take any longer I'm going to have to pour another glass

You do lead me astray, don't you

Check my TN, I've edited the last real TN Post to finish it all of. Read yours. Good on young Turnbull! Or did he not know what he got you?
Either way, he's doing well.

Alan

I have to say that the boy is developing well. He knows bits about what port is what and has seen me consume a moderate amount over the years to enable him to know what I like.

His own port tasting experience is also quite impressive. He has had a taste of his fair share of 1960's VP's and a small glass of a UK Bottled VP from 1873

I wish I had started young. I would have had more tasting notes by now

Derek

Derek,

Just have a glance at your bottle again. Tesco's are selling their own VP like you describe, but its written up as 95, not 94. That would nake sense, 94 was a stellar year, wasn't it? Why would they put that in BOB's. Not that I know, of course. Or was 95 not a vintage year?

Alan

It's 1994, but you just made me think of a good port question which I will take to the port threads.

Derek T. wrote:WOW - can't believe you've still got any left

I'm in need of some advice from a wise old friend. It's 23:55 and I have to get up at 06:00 to drive to Doncaster to catch a train to London for an extremely important meeting, accompanied by my boss.

Should I:

1. Go to bed

2. Open a bottle of port and have 1 glass(ish)

I am now entirely in your hands.

Derek

Drink nothing. You will be driving. Their lives in your hands, sort of thing.

This is meaningless drivel at Its optimum .
Can't get any better . ( I know I'll regret that statement )
This is one step above verbal diahrea . . .