ThePortForum.com

A tragedy has befallen Chez T. One of the family has gone missing

JCT (Mrs T.) and I have hunted high and low but can find no clues to explain the disappearance of our darling little SFT. He has been with us for eight years and it is unbearable to think what might have happened to him. Wherever he is I hope his new carer is looking after him, filling him with some of his favourite things and making sure he remains impeccably clean.

If you see SFT please let us know so that he can be returned to the family home as soon as possible.

Yours with great sadness, grief and diminishing hope,

DRT & JCT

Oh NO! This is not a good season for decanting funnels, especially after my unfortunate accident with Justin K's rather good one! Are they flying north for summer?

djewesbury wrote:Are they flying north for summer?

Either that or inadvertently abandoned by one of their parents at a hotel some weeks ago

DRT wrote:

djewesbury wrote:Are they flying north for summer?

Either that or inadvertently abandoned by one of their parents at a hotel some weeks ago

Yes. The parent who drinks port and stays in hotels a lot I suppose. Though I shouldn't interfere in family business.

djewesbury wrote:

DRT wrote:

djewesbury wrote:Are they flying north for summer?

Either that or inadvertently abandoned by one of their parents at a hotel some weeks ago

Yes. The parent who drinks port and stays in hotels a lot I suppose. Though I shouldn't interfere in family business.

Or perhaps someone has tidied it away somewhere in the home that was so safe it can no longer be found

I can sense another DRT apology being imminent.

Whatever ‘toy’ you are missing is not being shown here.

I see it just fine.

Only those with excessive browser paranoia cannot see it. A similar problem has manifested itself here previously.

Children in bed, so I dared use the parental password. And, phew, what a scorcher.

Did you pack it for a tasting in an infrequently used suitcase?

jdaw1 wrote:Did you pack it for a tasting in an infrequently used suitcase?

No. Have checked all of them. I have checked all of the places that DRT might have put it.

I have been asked to consider moving this thread to Meaningless Drivel, which I will after a couple of days once I have given up all hope that I left it at a tasting and some kind soul put it in their bag waiting for the owner to request its return.

DRT wrote:given up all hope that I left it at a tasting

Do you recall using it at a tasting? When did you last see it? And, since then, at what tastings have you decanted?

jdaw1 wrote:

DRT wrote:given up all hope that I left it at a tasting

Do you recall using it at a tasting? When did you last see it? And, since then, at what tastings have you decanted?

Yes, I don't know and I don't know.

DRT wrote:I don't know and I don't know.

You aren’t making it easy for the boys in blue. What were the suspects wearing? Tattoos? Piercings?

jdaw1 wrote:

DRT wrote:I don't know and I don't know.

You aren’t making it easy for the boys in blue. What were the suspects wearing? Tattoos? Piercings?

One of them was wearing white cotton trousers, a checked shirt with cuff-links, black shoes and a green cotton jacket. He was 6ft+ with very little hair, a child-like grin and quite tubby.

I think one of the others had a red checked shirt and appeared to be quite slow at writing.

I do recall you recently arriving at TBH and decanting what you brought. I don't recall which offline it was. I don't recall whether you used your own specialist equipment or borrowed TBH's.

And I can provide several alibis and witnesses who can prove that I wasn't there. Just let me know the time and date of when I was somewhere else.

You decanted the GM65 at the Graham 1980 Case Study, but that was some time ago.

DRT wrote:

jdaw1 wrote:

DRT wrote:given up all hope that I left it at a tasting

Do you recall using it at a tasting? When did you last see it? And, since then, at what tastings have you decanted?

Yes, I don't know and I don't know.

I share your pain. I would like to think it's keeping our sadly departed company, last seen in its prime at the Bell, in a photo amongst all its friends; I'm hoping it found a well-cared for resting home with a new pub-owner.

Thanks for responding. Sadly, it appears to be lost forever.

Thread moving to MD.

After five weeks of mourning at Chez T, guess who has turned up in my box of Port-related odds and ends?

He chose a very clever hiding place.

DRT wrote:After five weeks of mourning at Chez T, guess who has turned up in my box of Port-related odds and ends?

He chose a very clever hiding place.

Ah. Always wonderful when something treasured but lost eventually turns up!

Things are moving in 5-week periods in the Turnbull household. This is vey good news.

And there was the little matter of the random accusations regarding the fate of your darling. I assume it is not necessary to suggest a fulsome apology on this thread as you will already have made one in person.

Now where was that picture you posted of a man eating humble pie...

LGTrotter wrote:And there was the little matter of the random accusations regarding the fate of your darling. I assume it is not necessary to suggest a fulsome apology on this thread as you will already have made one in person.

Now where was that picture you posted of a man eating humble pie...

I had been thinking the same thing, but I know that Derek has been very good lately so perhaps he'll have been forgiven already...?

Neither of you are being helpful. It is now tucked away in the cupboard and no more needs to be said about it.

Move along, nothing to see here.

I don't suppose mine turned up with it?
Must be lost on its own, pining in some corner of the Bell, perhaps.

PhilW wrote:I don't suppose mine turned up with it?

'fraid not.

DRT wrote:Neither of you are being helpful. It is now tucked away in the cupboard and no more needs to be said about it.

Move along, nothing to see here.

I think you would feel better for sharing these feelings. 'Tucking it away' may be a way for you to avoid conflict and your responsibility but don't you think it would be better to open the cupboard? These are old feelings Derek and wouldn't it be wonderful to have a new start?

Thought not.

LGTrotter wrote:don't you think it would be better to open the cupboard?

Some cupboards are best left closed.

Derek, I can lend you my copy of 'Reinventing Your Cupboard', it changed my life, especially chapter 7. Taken in conjunction with very strong drugs it is extremely effective.

A life-coach moment has arrived. He needs less of strong drugs, and less of the food and booze. Just less.

And, whilst we’re on it, I should diss’ the competition: heed not the Jungian feminist post-modern cupboard analysts. They are quacks.

jdaw1 wrote:A life-coach moment has arrived. He needs less of strong drugs, and less of the food and booze. Just less.

And, whilst we’re on it, I should diss’ the competition: heed not the Jungian feminist post-modern cupboard analysts. They are quacks.

Well said.

jdaw1 wrote:A life-coach moment has arrived. He needs less of strong drugs, and less of the food and booze. Just less.

And, whilst we’re on it, I should diss’ the competition: heed not the Jungian feminist post-modern cupboard analysts. They are quacks.

Now I am getting to it. Derek, can't you see that he is just using you to get to me. Let it all out Julian...

Actually now I come to think of it I'm not sure how much cupboard it is safe to have, shut it away, Julian, shut it away...

Julian's cupboard is there for all to see. He's never been ashamed of it.

djewesbury wrote:Julian's cupboard is there for all to see. He's never been ashamed of it.

Sure, we've all got 'cupboard', but some 'cupboard' is cupboardier than others. Some cupboards are a kept in an iron chest in a locked room in a disused shed on another continent, for instance. But I like 'cupboard' and hope I give good 'cupboard'.

Look, what matters is what you put in your cupboard. In Derek's case that's a small piece of drinksware that he's anthropomorphised into a surrogate child. Meanwhile's Julian's cupboards have no doors and their contents bulge at the frames in their eagerness to be consumed. This is a nightmare, Owen, and only you and me are getting out alive. I've got the keys. Run.

Just noticed as ‘missing in action’ is one of my magnum decanters. Perhaps it was loaned to somebody, and was then forgotten. Is that you?

jdaw1 wrote:Just noticed as ‘missing in action’ is one of my magnum decanters. Perhaps it was loaned to somebody, and was then forgotten. Is that you?

Not me.

Perhaps it went to TBH with half a double magnum in it?

Would you have used it to decant the Vau DM for the '97 Maturity Evaluation? If I recall correctly, the Vau DM at that event arrived in multiple bottles.

Thank you for the help, but it has been found, at my father’s. Perhaps it was last used for a magnum of Noval 1963.