The BIG Detox!!!

[Conky]

It had to come. No matter how much I ignored it. I've started the BIG Detox diet. Having thoroughly enjoyed reaching 20+ stones, drinking a bottle of wine every night, plus beer, assorted spirits and of course Port.
I've enjoyed Bacon Butties, Chips, Pies, confectionery and anything else that tastes delicious...but undoubtedly kills you a tad quicker.

Well today it was a Banana and Tangerine smoothie(Breakfast), home made pea and ham soup(Lunch), and two small jacket potatoes, chicken breast, with baked courgettes,butternut squash,leeks,sweetcorn,tomatoes,broad beans,mushrooms and peppers(Dinner).

No butter, bread, chips,etc. And NO ALCOHOL!
In a few days, a farmer would buy me for the manure!

this could be a new level of Meaningless Drivel?

Alan

[DRT]

Alan,

I feel your pain. My penance also started today although I have to say I seem to have gone for less quantity than you when it comes to all that "good" stuff

Breakfast: 1 Apple

Lunch: Celery, apple and carrot smoothy

Dinner: Baked Potato (1), Tuna Steak and Jo's Ratatoullie

Alchohol: None

Enjoyment: None

Current Mental State: Not good

I am going on holiday on 19 Jan for a week and am trying to convince myself that today will be a normal day for me between now and then. I am consoling myself with the thought that I will be taking 7 bottles of Vintage Port and several pounds of steak with me when I go to my holiday hideaway on the Northumberland coast

Derek

[jdaw1]

A few months ago I joined a gym, an event described by a NY chum as “one of the three signs of the apocalypse†. So I too feel your pain.

[g-man]

I've limited my caloric intake to merely alcohol! ...

It's these offlines that are screwing things up =)

[jdaw1]

Indeed, it is a shame that we won’t be seeing Conky at the 1966 horizontal later this month. Doctor’s orders are doctor’s orders, so we understand, and shall toast his health with the Offley Boa Vista 1966 that Conky is nobly still providing for us. Conky: good luck; hope it goes well; see you at fifteen stone presumably?

Jeff: see you tomorrow for the Colheitathon.

[Andy Velebil]

Well New years day was the 90 mile bicycle ride at a blistering fast pace. I burned 3,100 calories in less than 4 hours

Tonight is a 10 year tawny Port by Presidential (Dalva to the rest of the world).

[Luc]

Alan , say It Isn't so !!!!
The BIG DETOX . . . ( what would Rodin say ? )

[Alex Bridgeman]

It had to come. No matter how much I ignored it. I've started the BIG Detox diet. Having thoroughly enjoyed reaching 20+ stones, drinking a bottle of wine every night, plus beer, assorted spirits and of course Port.
I've enjoyed Bacon Butties, Chips, Pies, confectionery and anything else that tastes delicious...but undoubtedly kills you a tad quicker.

Well today it was a Banana and Tangerine smoothie(Breakfast), home made pea and ham soup(Lunch), and two small jacket potatoes, chicken breast, with baked courgettes,butternut squash, leeks, sweetcorn, tomatoes, broad beans, mushrooms and peppers(Dinner).

No butter, bread, chips,etc. And NO ALCOHOL!
In a few days, a farmer would buy me for the manure!

I try (and sometimes succeed) to eat like this 90% of the time - lots of vegetables, fruit and salad and only the occasional steak. The main difference between the way that I do it and the way you've described is that I use my diet as an excuse to drink port to get the calories I need to survive.

So keep up the diet and hopefully you'll find that when you hit 15 stone then you need to start drinking port again in order not to lose even more weight and fade away into nothingness.

Alex

[DRT]

Day 2

Breakfast: Freshly squeezed apple, grapefruit, carrot, pear and ginger juice - yummy

Lunch: 2 apples and 1 bannana

Dinner: Freshly squeezed cucumber, tomato, celery, carrot, apple, red pepper and ginger juice - followed by Chilli-con-not-carne-at-all made with Quorn mince and brown rice

Alcohol: NONE

State of Mind: My life is flashing before my eyes - I may not have long to live

[KillerB]

Breakfast - two really nice, big butter croissants and coffee.

Dinner last night - Chicken Tikka Masala, rice and plain nan breads. Tonight, pistachio and sausage stuffed chicken legs, wrapped in bacon with whatever I can find to accompany, possibly sweet potato mash and fine beans.

Am I on the right track?

[DRT]

Breakfast - two really nice, big butter croissants and coffee.

Dinner last night - Chicken Tikka Masala, rice and plain nan breads. Tonight, pistachio and sausage stuffed chicken legs, wrapped in bacon with whatever I can find to accompany, possibly sweet potato mash and fine beans.

Am I on the right track?

No. But I'm coming to your house for dinner

[DRT]

My Day 2 updated above - this is torture

Come on Conky, what have you had today?

Derek

[Luc]

My Day 2 updated above - this is torture

Come on Conky, what have you had today?

Derek

I feel a competition coming on . . .

[DRT]

I feel a competition coming on . . .

The prospect of public humiliation and ridicule for failure is the only motivation that is likely to keep me on this path

Derek

[Conky]

Day 2

Breakfast,

Banana & Tangerine smoothie.

Lunch,

The last of a Ham roast, about 4 slices. Spoonful of Piccalilli.

Dinner,

Pork fillet in apple and cider sauce, 2 small jacket spuds with peas,carrots,green beans,leek. 'Light' yoghurt.

just had another banana.

Nothing else...at all! You're very lucky your not in the same room. Foul mood and hungry!

Alan

[DRT]

How did you know I'm in a foul mood

[jdaw1]

State of Mind: My life is flashing before my eyes - I may not have long to live

OK, let’s be practical in this thread. People are invited to post on why, if Derek’s diet should be as bad for the health as is feared, they should inherit Derek’s port collection.

Me first: because every label I put on those bottles will be perfectly punctuated.

[Conky]

Don't you have to have a target before you can know you've failed to reach it?

Luckily, mines not 15 stone!

[KillerB]

So, I had the chicken-pistachio-sausage-bacon thing with sweet potato mash, fine beans and mushrooms and shallots in a Grand Marnier sauce, very nice and surprisingly healthy. Two and a half bottles of Grolsch accompanied it.

More croissants this morning. Please note that I did not have lunch yesterday - just didn't feel like it, not a deliberate ploy.

[DRT]

Day 3

Breakfast: Freshly squeezed apple, carrot, pear and ginger juice

Lunch: 1 apple plus a chicken salad with no tasty mayo or dressing

Dinner:

Alcohol:

State of Mind: Becoming concerned about what will happen to my cellar when I'm gone. I know Julian will punctuate properly on the labels but will they be white on black and in an appropriate stencil font

[KillerB]

Lunch - Fish and Chips. It is Friday.

[Alex Bridgeman]

Breakfast - 3 slices of cold roast belly pork and a tangarine

Lunch - deep fried plaice with large helping of baked beans

Dinner - not a clue yet, but will be washed down with what's left of the Carvalhas 1963 vintage port that's left in the decanter


Alex

[Ghandih]

All this talk of food makes me romania. I was charged with cheese buying responsibilities for Christmas, and am proud to announce that I discharged my obligations admirably. A got an enormous slab of Cropwell Bishop, an equally large chunk of Cerne Abbas Cheddar (thankfully it did not come complete with a chalky willy), some Applewood Smoked Cheddar, Seine de Negresse Goat, and a Finn sheep's cheese in continued absence of Waterloo.

It could be said that I overcatered, considering the cheese mountain that remains. I'd invite you all around to help polish it off, but it sounds like you'd only be allowed the water biscuits. Yuk. As it is, I guess we'll have to bravely soldier on ourselves.

And you think dieting is tough!

[Luc]

I don't know which race is tighter , Derek v.s. Alan or Obama v.s. Hillary . . .

[jdaw1]

State of Mind: Becoming concerned about what will happen to my cellar when I'm gone. I know Julian will punctuate properly on the labels but will they be white on black and in an appropriate stencil font

If you leave me your cellar, I guarantee that they will be “white on black and in an appropriate stencil font†. What else do I need to say to win?

Would it be helpful to mention that yesterday’s 14oz filet steak was excellent meat, and perfectly uncooked? The accompanying hash browns were OK but not really worthy of following-day praise.