The Off-topic Thread

[DRT]

Post anything you want to in this thread so long as it doe not relate to anything else in this thread.

My 1st contribution: Tonight I have killed my latest bottle of Morgan 1991 for no other reason than it was there.

[jdaw1]

It is claimed that there are no Barker codes longer than 13. I have written a program in C that is looking for such codes, a program that is running on a fast two-core computer. Output so far: evens; odds.

[jdaw1]

Twelve members of a democracy wish to elect a leader from amongst six candidates called A, B, C, D, E & F. The voters’ preferences are:

Code: Select all

4 people prefer  A to D to E to F to B to C;
3 people prefer  B to F to E to D to C to A;
2 people prefer  C to F to D to B to A to E;
1 person prefers D to C to E to B to A to F;
2 people prefer  F to D to E to C to B to A.

Who should be elected?

• A? British-style first past the post elects A.
• B? If, French style, there is a run off between those two candidates with the most first place votes, then B defeats A on the second round 8:4.
• C? Single Transferable Vote gives the victory to C. First E is eliminated, having no first-place preferences. Then D, that vote going to C, then F, leaving A:B:C with votes split 4:3:5, thus eliminating B; C winning the final round 8:4.
• D? If we assign 6 points to each first place vote, 5 to each second, etc, thus giving each candidate a Borda count, D would win, the candidates scoring 35:39:33:53:42:50.
• E? Approval voting allows voters to choose multiple approved candidates. For these purposes let’s say that voters would approve of their top three choices, and not approve the last three. E wins, the candidates approval vote totals being 4:3:3:9:10:7.
• F? Consider a head-to-head between each pair of candidates. F would beat A 7:5, F would beat B by 8:4, F beats C by 9:3, F beats D by 7:5, and F beats E 7:5. F is called the Condorcet winner. (Often voting is so muddled that there is no Condorcet winner.)

Of course, this could be still more confusing. Instead imagine that twelve members of a democracy wish to choose an electoral system from amongst six possibilities called A, B, C, D, E & F!

(This taken from Non-Intuitive Features of Electoral Systems.)

[jdaw1]

The Correct Construction of the Union Jack



The flag is twice as wide as it is high. The cross of St George is red, and has width equal to one fifth the flag’s height, and a white border of width one fifteenth the height.

The cross of St Andrew is interchanged with that of St Patrick. Start by drawing the diagonals of the whole flag, and then the lines parallel to these that are at a distance of one tenth and one fifteenth the height of the flag. (For clarity the diagram also shows the lines that are apart from the diagonals by only one thirtieth the height.) On the flag-pole side fill red the diagonally orientated area of width one fifteenth the height that lies below the diagonals, and on the non-flag-pole side, the diagonally orientated area of width one fifteenth the height that lies above the diagonals. Finally, fill blue everywhere that is both more than one tenth the height away from the diagonals, and more than one fifteenth the height away from the red of the cross of St George.

The blue should be Pantone 280, approximated here with an RGB setting of 0:0:102, and the red should be Pantone 186, approximated here with 204:0:0.

(Taken from How to draw the Union Jack accurately. And note the correct use of transparency in the image.)

[jdaw1]

Sin[3°] = Sqrt[ 8 ”“ Sqrt[10”“2 Sqrt[5]] ”“ Sqrt[3] (1+Sqrt[5]) ] / 4

(From Sin and Cos in Surds.)

[jdaw1]

The artist known as El Greco (the Greek) was born in Crete in 1541 as Doménicos Theotocópoulos (Δομήνικος Θεοτοκόπουλος). He studied in Venice, and in 1570 moved to Rome, and from there to Toledo in 1577 where he stayed until his death in 1614. Wikipedia says of El Greco that his dramatic and expressionistic style was met with puzzlement by his contemporaries but found appreciation in the 20th century. There is a distinctive feature of many of the faces painted by El Greco, documented at www.jdawiseman.com/papers/el-greco/el-g ... ology.html: those faces may well be modelled on a child with some specific malformation. But which?

Paediatricians and dysmorphology experts of the world: please help!

[Andy Velebil]

I saw a dead guy the other day, then another one the day after. Works been busy lately

[Alex Bridgeman]

We had our first daffodil flower in the garden today.

[benread]

I am off to Glasgow tomorrow. A curry is on the agenda.

[jdaw1]

After washing in hot water, some of my decanters dry very quickly. Others, in particular the one holding the Warre Quinta da Cavadinha 1986 currently being consumed, seem to acquire a ‘mist’ that takes many days to dry.

[Andy Velebil]

After washing in hot water, some of my decanters dry very quickly. Others, in particular the one holding the Warre Quinta da Cavadinha 1986 currently being consumed, seem to acquire a ‘mist’ that takes many days to dry.

I have one decanter that does the same thing, the rest don't...wierd!

[DRT]

After washing in hot water, some of my decanters dry very quickly. Others, in particular the one holding the Warre Quinta da Cavadinha 1986 currently being consumed, seem to acquire a ‘mist’ that takes many days to dry.

I have one decanter that does the same thing, the rest don't...wierd!

ON-TOPIC ALERT!!!!!!!!

The Rule (there is only one) states:

Post anything you want to in this thread so long as it doe not relate to anything else in this thread.

[DRT]

The giraffe has a life expectancy of 20-30 years and a gestation period of 457 days. Male giraffes are, on average, 50% heavier than female giraffes.

[Andy Velebil]

After washing in hot water, some of my decanters dry very quickly. Others, in particular the one holding the Warre Quinta da Cavadinha 1986 currently being consumed, seem to acquire a ‘mist’ that takes many days to dry.

I have one decanter that does the same thing, the rest don't...wierd!

ON-TOPIC ALERT!!!!!!!!

The Rule (there is only one) states:

Post anything you want to in this thread so long as it doe not relate to anything else in this thread.

Alright dont kill me, i just got back from a bike race and the mind is a bit numb at the moment....i need a beer!

[jdaw1]

Derek’s ‟ON-TOPIC ALERT!!!!!!!!” was, of course, related to the first post.

Self-flagellation: as is this post.

(That subject continued at Drying decanters.)

[jdaw1]

Note to self: tomorrow I must phone Currys.

[jdaw1]

My wife is pregnant.

[DRT]

National Express East Coast Trains no longer serve a fruit basket to 1st Class customers on morning services. To compound this ridiculous error of judgement and degredation in basic good manners the restaraunt car has been removed from from northbound services that leave London prior to 16:30.

What on earth is the world coming to when a gentleman cannot have a fillet steak and a quarter bottle of LBV on the way home after 3 or 4 hard hours at the office?

[Glenn E.]

My wife placed 101st (out of 680) in the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament this past weekend in NYC. And was disappointed because last year she placed 56th (out of 699). And she calls me competitive.

She made one error during the entire weekend - she had to guess on one letter because neither clue (across or down) was helpful to her - and that error dropped her from 88th to 101st. Had she known the answer instead of having to guess, and answered it correctly at the time she was otherwise finished with that puzzle, she would have finished 69th.

[DRT]

Jo and I went for a curry tonight. It was very nice.

[jdaw1]

I once had a Saturday job at Dixons, a UK retailer of electronics. The name, Dixons, had been selected randomly from the telephone directory so the company is not necessarily related to the port of the same name owned by Morgan.

[Glenn E.]

It snowed this morning. Big, fluffy, white flakes. But they all melted.

[jdaw1]

I sometimes play bridge, and am writing (and subsequently editing) this post for my partner. (We aren’t very good.)

Uncontested auction.
1NT: promises 12 to 14 points, and sum square suit lengths not exceeding 48.

• 1N 2C: a multi-puppet-Staymen, asking for five-card majors. Three likely meanings: weakness takeout into diamonds; seeking a major-suit fit with NT as acceptable backup; exploring club slam.
  • 1N 2C any:
    • 1N 2C any 3C: big hand, interested in club slam. Opener to respond with club length, then if raised above 3N, cue-bidding.
      • 1N 2C any 3C 3D: opener has exactly five clubs.
      • 1N 2C any 3C 3H: opener has exactly four clubs.
      • 1N 2C any 3C 3S: opener has exactly three clubs.
      • 1N 2C any 3C 3N: opener has exactly two clubs.
  • 1N 2C 2D: opener denies five-card major.
    • 1N 2C 2D pass: thank heavens the contract is two diamonds.
    • 1N 2C 2D 2H: promises exactly four hearts, and enough strength to play 2NT.
    • 1N 2C 2D 2S: promises exactly four spades, and enough strength to play 2NT, and denies four+ hearts.
    • 1N 2C 2D 2N: natural, 11-12 points. Opener might raise to 3N.
    • 1N 2C 2D 3N: natural, responder having 13-18 points. Opener to pass.
  • 1N 2C 2H: opener has five hearts.
    • 1N 2C 2H 3D: it was a weakness takeout into diamonds. Opener must pass.
    • 1N 2C 2H other: natural.
  • 1N 2C 2S: opener has five spades.
    • 1N 2C 2S 3D: it was a weakness takeout into diamonds. Opener must pass.
    • 1N 2C 2S other: natural.
• 1N 2D: transfer to hearts, responder promising five, any strength. Opener to jump with four or five. All bidding then natural.
• 1N 2H: transfer to spades, responder promising five, any strength. Opener to jump with four or five. All bidding then natural.
• 1N 2S: relay, asking how strong is opener’s hand. Used for enquiry about 2NT or 3NT, as weakness takeout into clubs, or to express slam interest in diamonds.
  • 1N 2S either:
    • 1N 2S either 3D: slam interest in diamonds. Opener to respond with diamond length, then if raised above 3N, cue-bidding.
      • 1N 2S either 3D 3H: opener has four+ diamonds.
      • 1N 2S either 3D 3S: opener has exactly three diamonds.
      • 1N 2S either 3D 3N: opener has exactly two diamonds.
  • 1N 2S 2N: opener’s points are 12 or a disliked 13.
    • 1N 2S 2N pass: not enough for 3N, alas.
    • 1N 2S 2N 3C: opener must pass it was weakness takeout into clubs.
    • 1N 2S 2N other: natural but why would responder do this?
  • 1N 2S 3C: opener’s points 14 or a liked 13.
    • 1N 2S 3C pass: it was weakness takeout into clubs.
    • 1N 2S 3C other: natural, still looking for a four-four fit but willing to play in 3NT.
• 1N 2N: both to bid four-card suits in ascending order, bidding 3N if no more, or raising partner.
• 1N 3C: tells opener that opener can’t remember what meaning has been assigned to this bid.
• 1N 3D: tells opener that opener can’t remember what meaning has been assigned to this bid.
• 1N 3H: big hand, big hearts, slam interest. Who knows what happens next?
• 1N 3S: big hand, big spades, slam interest. Who knows what happens next?
• 1N 3N: natural, to play.
• 1N 4C: Gerber.
  • 1N 4C 4D: opener has no aces.
  • 1N 4C 4H: opener has one ace.
  • 1N 4C 4S: opener has two aces.
  • 1N 4C 4N: opener has three aces.
• 1N 4N: optional vanilla Blackwood, may be passed with a hand opener doesn’t like.
• 1N 5suit: opener to bid 7suit with both A and K, 6suit with only one, and pass with neither.
• 1N 5N: responder has 23 points.
  • 1N 5N 6N: opener has 12 or 13 points.
  • 1N 5N 7N: opener has 14 points.
• 1N 6N: opener to pass.
• 1N 7N: opener to pray.

[DRT]

A quote from the film "As Good As It Gets" (1997) staring Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall, an obsessive compulsive author being confronted by the soppy, dreamy-eyed receptionist at his publisher's office:

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?

Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

[Andy Velebil]

I have a horrible case of the flu! this sucks

[benread]

I got in a lift in our office this week and was joined by Dame Kelly Holmes! She seemed rather short for a double olympic gold medallist!

[DRT]

Adam Smith (1723-1790) and the face on the back of the current Bank of England Twenty Pound Note once said:

"It is the highest impertinence and presumption, therefore, in kings and ministers to pretend to watch over the economy of private people, and to restrain their expense"

[jdaw1]

I am about to bathe the smelly dog.

[Glenn E.]

I am doing laundry while I await my turn on the treadmill.

This has turned into the TPF twitter feed!

[Roy Hersh]

Is the new face of Facebook?

[DRT]

The world now has one more Wiseman.

All of our children should be encouraged to learn good grammar and punctuation, otherwise they will no doubt suffer the same fate as their wayward parents.

[jdaw1]

3790 gram ≈ 8 lb 6 oz.

[benread]

England are looking pretty rubbish at cricket at the moment!

[Alex Bridgeman]

It's very quiet on the board tonight

[jdaw1]

Derek is in, or at least en route to, India.

[jdaw1]

ThePortForum.com currently uses phpBB 3.0.0. The latest version is 3.0.4. One day we will upgrade.

[jdaw1]

It might or might not be that protons decay. If they do, it is with a half life of at least 10^33 years, this bound being ≈10^23 universe lifetimes.

[jdaw1]

This evening, in searching for a particular old thread, I found several others to which I then replied.

[benread]

Edward was christened today. He was given his first port by his godmother. 3 bottles of 2000 Quinta do Infantado. I can find no review of it here.

[Glenn E.]

I am at ~8000 feet in Colorado, drinking a glass of Porto Kopke 30-yr Old Tawny Port. It is delicious, and does not appear to have been affected by the altitude at all.

I may need to acquire a small bottle with which to carry some to the top of the lifts at Beaver Creek. Solely for the purpose of research, of course.

[jdaw1]

Indeed it comes as no consolation to this Governor that, to the letter and word, fellow Central Bankers the world over now realise what it means to print money inorder to save their essential industries and sectors of the economy.

[Glenn E.]

The Big East received three #1 bids (out of four theoretically possible) to the NCAA Men's basketball tournament including the #1 overall bid (Louisville). North Carolina from the ACC busted up the Big East party. This is unheard of. It is rare for one conference to even receive two #1 bids because one objective of the seeding committee is to ensure that each of the tournament's regions has a suitable host... with three teams coming from the Big East, that will be exceedingly difficult.

My former home conference, the Big XII, received only 6 bids. Which sounds pretty good considering that there are 350+ eligible teams and only 65 slots in the tournament, but the Big XII typically seats 8 or 9 in the tournament.

[jdaw1]

A recent speech by the Governor of the Bank of England to the Worshipful Company of International Bankers, begins, most splendidly ‟Master, Sheriff, My Lords, Alderman, Ladies and Gentlemen,”.

[Andy Velebil]

There were 59 firearm-related homicides in England and Wales in 2006-2007, compared to the more than 10,000 gun-related killings reported by the FBI in the United States in 2007.

[Andy Velebil]

The jobless rate in California has now hit 10.5%. But sales of inexpensive wine is up.....

[DRT]

The local laws of Chennai appear to dictate that the sale of alcohol should cease at approximately 11:30 each evening. This is particularly inconvenient for the busy traveller who arrives at his hotel at 9pm after an inexplicable alcohol-free experience in an airport lounge and on a flight fron Mumbai. Luckily, my hotel has an Irish Bar named Dublin wherein I was treated to staggerlingly loud Indian dance music and a few bottles of that traditional Irish brew, Kingfisher Gold, until 00:30am.

Still no port in sight and have now given up all hope until the flight back home from Dubai on Sunday evening. Hopefully this time they will have more than one half bottle of Dow LBV between the 100 or so travellers in the Business Class cabin.

Disgruntled of Chennai.

[jdaw1]

We New Yorkers will be resorting to GC80, GC97; Rr95 and Rr99 during this evening’s events.

[DRT]

India's Jet Airways domestic flights have the most staggeringly attractive female cabin staff that I have ever seen. Strangely, all of them are exactly the same height and body shape. It is possible that their figure-hugging uniforms only come in one size and that this constraint is driving the recruitment policy.

[jdaw1]

Barbie is not skinny.

[jdaw1]

The Chubsters seem to be dangerous, but have bizarrely witty self-descriptions.