I guess I'll chime in because I've been to Porto and Pinhau four years running, though I still feel like a newbie.
It is true that many, many of the lodges have the same mass market tour, usually with a short movie or slide show, a look at many giant barrels of port, and an overview of port grapes and vinification, followed by a tasting with cheap white and ruby ports. For some reason, in August at least, it seems like the whole place is overrun with French people drinking white port. I actually like white port. It fits the summer climate in Portugal a lot better than the big brawny reds, but I digress.
I have noticed that there is an emerging trend in VndeGuia toward making higher end ports available for people like us. So this year you may find some new lodges that might offer vintage ports by the glass.
The Graham's lodge is very nice, and indeed now you can buy vintage port by the glass there. If you email them ahead of time and make a fuss about how the Symington ports are your favorite, they will give you a private tour with a good tasting at the wine bar at the end. Last summer they gave me a white port, a Six Grapes, a Dow LBV, a 10, 20 and 30 year tawny, a 94 Vesuvio, and an 85 Dows, all for free. I was feeling no pain when I left, and my guide was happy too because I left him a nice tip, which he told me not too many people do. All of those ports were available to buy by the glass at the wine bar.
The Taylor lodge is beautiful and has a nice restaurant, as others have noted here. You can also buy wines by the glass, but last summer the only vintage port they had available was a 95 Varghelas. Taylor is near Grahams.
I've been emailing the Fonseca people already to prepare for my visit this summer. Im making a fuss about how the Fonseca ports are my favorite and, well you get the idea. As I recall Fonseca is not open for regular tours, or at least has not been in the past.
I cant help you with accomodations as I always come down for the day and then drive back to Spain by nightfall. Thanks for the Vinho de Porto tip as I have not been there before. I've been to Vinologia and concur it is a great place to sip a wide variety of ports by the glass without being fleeced. They have a lot of small producers I had never heard of and it is a good place. It is also right next door to the fortress-like Vintage House and of course I would love to get inside there. Because I am a boorish American I knocked on the door but they smartly did not answer. Anyone been in that place? Can you imagine what must be in that cellar?
I personally think Pinhau is much more interesting than Porto, but with two days I agree it is not worth the time to go up there, especially without a car. Conceivably you could take the train, see the rugged countryside, and once in Pinhau have a fabulous lunch at the expensive but delicious Vintage House, then take the train back.
For everyone, when staying in Pinhau I love to stay at the
Casa de Casal de Loivos, which is not too expensive and super charming. The 15th century house is just at the top of Dow's Quinta de Bomfim vineyard and commands a stunning view of the valley below. The owner, Miquel Sampoya, is an elderly Portuguese gentleman who is worth the trip alone. Be sure to pay the extra 25 Euro for the dinner, which is rustic but good. You sit around a big table with the other six hotel guests and enjoy the company of your fellow travellers, in an old house in a rugged and beautiful land. Finish your dinner with a port or two on the terrace looking out over the famous vineyards, and you have a memory for the ages.