The Port Forum Offline #2 - 1st Sep 2007

[jdaw1]

[Edited in error]: Fonseca tasting placemats, and, for absolutely no good reason at all, a psychedelic version.

[DRT]

Excellent

[Alex Bridgeman]

I will be with you - but only in spirit.

I've got so may travel commitments between now and the end of September (including some rugby watching visits to the continent) that I will absolutely not be able to make it to St Helens for TPF Offline #2.

I hope you enjoy yourselves and have a fantastic time enjoying what should be some amazing ports, even the lesser ones

Alex

[jdaw1]

This offline also mentioned here.

[Conky]

I suspect the participants probably know the Fonseca History. But I was certainly hazy, and if you have the time, I found this.
It gives general background information of how Fonseca came to be and how it developed.

Alan

[DRT]

Alan,

In years to come port enthusiasts will read of the time when a group of the worlds finest and tasters gathered together in a town call St Helens to tackle the greatest line-up of Fonseca's ever known

Derek

[Andy Velebil]

I must say, i tried really hard to get some days off work to make this. I figured it would be a fun surprise to show up with some bottles. I really do want to meet you guys in person and have some fun. But work had other ideas since I am already taking time off work in October. Have no fear, plan "B" is in the works to try and stop off on the back to the states.

[Ghandih]

Aha,

So that wicked man, JDAW, in whose illustrious company several tens of VPs have met a happy death, informed me that some poor unfortunates in St Helens had got themselves into a terrible fix, and faced an evening of more VP than they could possibly manage. I hasten to add that this is not to impute them as amateur drinkers. Oh, no. But VP is a beautiful thing, and 15 bottles between four and three-possible people is going to be wasteful. Even if you drunk the lot, I troth it wouldn’t stay drunk. (this emoticon is called 'oops', but he's looking queasy to me).

Now, my professional line of business is saving the world. It’s a big job, I know that to be true, but someone has to do it. Luckily, there are a few of us at it, so I tend to concentrate on waste management. I get quite wound up by endless media campaigns grumbling about excess packaging; it is a problem, but a much bigger issue is wastefulness. They say that one third of the food we British buy is thrown away untouched, and that is criminal.

[Getting to point soon] So hearing about you chaps trying to shovel 15 bottles of port down four and three-possible necks makes me cross, because I know there will be leftovers. It might be the Fonseca 83 that gets left behind â€‟ I noted its (relative) ranking as low-end â€‟ but there are good folk (I like to include myself among ‘em) who would sit very happily in a corner all evening sipping F83 with a contented look on their faces. AND they’d do the washing up afterwards.

All this leads me to wonder whether I might be able to join the great event (subject to permission from the missus, who may well be keen to come along herself, presenting the issue of dealing with the issue - Isabelle, 18 months old), and do my utmost to help reduce the leftovers. For the good of the planet, you understand. Earlier discussions suggest that attendees might bring along a bottle themselves by way of entrance fee. I could certainly do this (supposing I can find a missing vintage), but I respectfully suggest that increasing both attendees and the port lake will not reduce wastage. Could we come to some other arrangement?

It might all fall through and not work and be rotten, but this is rather exciting. I hope we can make it work.


Ghandhi

[Conky]

Hope it all comes together. Jdaw1 speaks highly of you, but we'll still try to give you a chance!
You know you'll becoming to the Barren Wastelands of the North (Eh? AHB?). Now although I think we're quite cultured up here, I suspect if you use that mode of transport and dress, thats in your Avatar, we may be turning our event into some form of Memorial!
Its nothing personal, the REAL Gandhi would have struggled with his No Violence policy on a Friday night in Liverpool City Centre!

Alan

[jdaw1]

For what little it’s worth, Simon is the right-most man in this picture, which appears in this post.

[jdaw1]

Ghahhnhhhdhhhhihhhhh: if you’ll be passing anywhere near Gatwick betwixt now and 1st September, I could set you the task of collecting a bottle of F60 from my father’s. Just so that we’d have 16 bottles: it’s so much better to have a number that is both n^m and m^n, for integer m and n with m≠n.

Also, FYI,

If ever you fancy roughing it, we'll save you a chair at one of ours. If you can keep a secret, there's not ONE decent Tasting Note surfaced from them. Strange that. Dereks even brought his Leather bound TN's Book, and then just shamefully shook his head when he's tried to read it the following morning.

[Ghandih]

I have a client down in Sussex (Jim Beam, no less), so I might well be able to orchestrate a visit. I'll let you know if it looks like it might work.

I wonder if the evidence so far presented suggests that I might have the most organised tasting notes, given that I'm writing them down in a Black and Red book? It means they're all together, even though the comments get less revealing later on [eg I wrote "T27 hmmm". Thank-you, Ghandih, very helpful.]

I just spend 20 minutes adding my tasting notes on 1985 Martinez, which I thought might interest people. You won't find it on the website, though. I was using Dragon Naturally Speaking software to dictate the notes and many paragraphs in it just closed the window. All lost. Pants. Going to sulk now.

[Conky]

Ghandih,

Martinez 85? Wow. For sentimental reasons as well as taste. Thats my favourite Port. If you thought it was dire, I need a dark room and some pills to get over it. The bottle I had was actually Harveys 85, but that was just the American name for Martinez. See Here for a few verdicts.
If you can remember anything about it, I'd be quite curious. A full tasting note would have been fascinating, but such is life.

Alan[/url]

[KillerB]

I think Ghhhhhhahhhnhhdhhihh is saying that losing the notes was pants not that the Martinez was pants.

[jdaw1]

Feel free to add the M85 note here, noting carefully the correct title format of “1985 Martinez†. You had ten bottles as I recall, I taking two from that case.

Note: this post off-topic. Simon will be starting a new thread in which further posts on the subject can be made.

[Ghandih]

I feel I led us all a bit astray there, sorry about that. Silly computer.

I had hoped the venue might be the less well known St Helens in, err, Cornwall, or something like that, but I'm sure I'll probably be OK. I went to Liverpool once and got home again in one bit, and I've been to Manchester lots of times. Am I allowed to suggest that the two are similar in some way, or is that just classic Southerner ignorance? I'm from Hampshire by birth, and would be willing to say that Portsmouth and Southampton are fairly similar (to folk who don't class themselves as supporters of either team).

The tasting now seems to coincide with an event at the wife's hockey club, but she said there'd be no reason why she couldn't take the littl'un along with her. All in all, that counts as quite a large fraction of the Red Sea moving to one side to allow the (potentially) chosen one to the Promised Land. How exciting!

Any other obvious hurdles?

[DRT]

Earlier discussions suggest that attendees might bring along a bottle themselves by way of entrance fee. I could certainly do this (supposing I can find a missing vintage), but I respectfully suggest that increasing both attendees and the port lake will not reduce wastage. Could we come to some other arrangement?

Ghandhi,

I'm not sure we have enough mouths to contemplate adding further bottles to the line-up as yet, even though it may throw jdaw's formula into some kind of turmoil.

The plan so far has been that we will add up the total cost of the bottles in the line-up and then work out an even contribution from each participant. Those who have supplied the wines will have the cost offset against their contribution with any excess being refunded from the cash contributions of the others.

To ease your planet-saving consience I can confirm that there will be absolutely no waste other than the butts of Conky's cigars

Derek

[jdaw1]

The plan so far has been that we will add up the total cost of the bottles in the line-up and then work out an even contribution from each participant. Those who have supplied the wines will have the cost offset against their contribution with any excess being refunded from the cash contributions of the others.

That’s tickety-boo with me.

[Ghandih]

That seems about as fair as it could possibly be. My concern is that there is such a splendid line up of quality ports, I won't be able to stomp up my share. It all seems a bit vulgar talking about money, but could someone find a fag packet with no writing on the back and do a quick estimation of the total cost of the currently offered ports? This will then enable me to guess at what level of attendees I could join the party (if not already unceremoniously dropped for being so impertinent).

Ghandhhi

PS Like the way you chaps are getting the hang of the aitches. Well done.

[DRT]

Ghhhanhhdhhhhihhhh,

I have a very accurate fag packet that tells me that the cost of the 12 Fonseca vintage listed above is £997, providing they are sourced from Alan, Tom and I as we have already agreed prices privately that beat anything you will buy in a wine merchant.

The cost per person depends on the number of persons. I would say that 6 to 8 people could attend comfortably at 1.5 bottles of Fonseca each. If experience is anything to go buy there would be a few wildcard bottles thrown in for fun to see off the hard core at the end of the night.

If we have 6 people (Alan, Tom, KillerB, jdaw, yourself and I) that works out at £166.17 per person.

The biggest question remaining at this point in time is - "Tom, are you ready to commit to coming along?" - If the answer is "No", I fear we need a new theme

Derek

[Ghandih]

Derek,

Many thanks for the sums. 12 bottles and six people will be tough, and I thought there were 15 bottles at a previous count (not that I'm being greedy - I'm not sure I can manage two myself, but I'm brave enough to try).

Anyway, my notional top whack was £150. You're telling me £167, and I'm probably not going to bail for the sake of £17, but I'd rather not be pushed any higher!

I conclude from this that Tom must come along (agreed?). Beyond that, though, do we need still more folk? Should the nets be thrown out on the other side of the boat, to see what we might drag up?

Cheers,

Ganhdi

[jdaw1]

Should the nets be thrown out on the other side of the boat, to see what we might drag up?

Where do you think you came from?

[DRT]

The £997 covers the 12 Fonseca Vintages, assuming Tom is still coming and happy to supply most of the bottles

Bottles 13 to 15 are Fonseca Guimaraens bottlings from lesser years. Not essential and, to be honest, probably not a good choice in the company of their generally more gifted siblings.

Keeping it simple - we need Tom's participation to put the Fonseca vertical together and more people are still welcome to join in.

Can we please have a show of hands (posts) from those who are still committed to attending. Anyone who is not committing because of the planned line-up and/or cost please shout (by PM if preferred) and things can change. The most important aspect of the evening is to ensure we have 6+ nutters in one place drinking Vintage Port

In jdaw's absence I will raise hands for he and I. I think it's also safe to assume Conky will join in as jdaw and I will be drinking this stuff on his patio. So we have 3 confirmed. More confirmations, please?

Derek

[Jay P]

I think now that jdaw has gone to the trouble of booking flights it would be good if others would confirm attendance so that we can make some firm plans for wine, glasses and beds.

I think the current list is as follows:

• Corky - definitely
• jdaw - definitely
• KillerB - definitely
• Uncle Tom - definitely maybe
• Jay P. - maybe
• AHB - probably not but maybe
• The Roots - would rather be drinking German beer

Please confirm or update your status ASAP. Anyone not on the list remains more than welcome to join us.

Derek

The lineup looks great, the people fantastic, but I think I will need to miss this one due to work. Please toast me (and with the 27, not the 2000!) and enjoy what looks likely to be a night to remember!

Jay

[Conky]

If AHB had of made it, I would have suggested the appropriate dress code would have been...



But it's £30 a shirt, and he's not, so moving on...

[KillerB]

I have a copy of The Justified Ancients of Mu-Mu's (aka The JAMMS, aka KLF) classic "It's Grim Up North" which I could have brought along for the occasion.

[DRT]

The lineup looks great, the people fantastic, but I think I will need to miss this one due to work. Please toast me (and with the 27, not the 2000!) and enjoy what looks likely to be a night to remember!

Jay

Jay,

We will indeed toast an absent friend with a Fonseca Bin 27

It's a great shame that you can't join us. Let us know if you ever plan to visit the UK and we'll try to set something up that makes up for you missing out on the fun this time.

Derek

[jdaw1]

I’ve found internet access. Yes, I’m in.

[Ghandih]

Should the nets be thrown out on the other side of the boat, to see what we might drag up?

Where do you think you came from?

Wasn't there a stork or something?

Subject to the financial proviso, I'm in. Does this earlyish confirmation increase my chances of somewhere to sleep? I could bring a tent if necessary, but it's bound to be raining, and presumably the garden has been concreted over?

Ghhhhandi

[Conky]

Sleeping shouldn't be an issue. Unless you've got very high standards or are a major fussy bugger!
Debs and I, as well as our own room, have a box room and a large bedroom with two singles. So thats 3 of you, and we can easily put another camp bed type in the large room. We also have 3 large Settee's. You'll also find in a previous Post to Jdaw1 a nearby Pub and a relatively nearby good Hotel. So we can accomodate allsorts.
The idea is to muck in. Bring an overnight bag, and ignore the dodgey bedrooms. Mine and Debs is lovely and plush...but hard luck! Downstairs is neat and tidy, and if you manage to look down your noses at the decor of the bedrooms, the previous night must have been crap as well! (Now with all that Fonseca...whats the chances?)
If I keep on the right side of Debs, she'll do a very unhealthy Northern Fry Up in the morning. It will consist of varying types of dead farmyard animals cut into edible portions, toast and a huge cup of tea/coffee. (Paracetemol optional)

So that is what can loosely be called a plan. Now there's always 'the individualist', but we try to cater for them as well. This image below is of a Deranged Celt, who happened upon around 8 bottles of half decent Port, and with me by his side, had a good go at drinking them all. He had a penchant for expenses cigars, and after deciding he had definitely had his fair share, decided to setup camp where he sat!

Debs put a blanket around him, looked at a pointlessly smiling me, and mumbled 'Idiots' before retiring.
If your really adventurous, you can kip under the stars... ...but really!!!

So choose your level of accomodation...and dive in.

Alan

[DRT]

I will bring a sleeping bag and a pillow. Couch does for me, especially as it is only 5 yards from patio so not as far to go as the spare bedroom

Gandihhh, please note that all the port glasses in the above photograph are empty. By this point in the evening all I had to keep me awake was half of a rather nice cuban cigar (a Coppa Cabana, I think?) and Alan's crap jokes.

Derek

[Ghandih]

It all looks immensely civil, doesn't it? And this is really St Helens rather than Church Crookham? Gosh.

I will bring an overnight kit myself, and either grab a sofa or a cumfy bit of floor that not's swaying too much.

I like the late night photo, too. I've been known to have a cigar when tipsy, but tend to only manage little ones. jdaw, by contrast, has a veritable stock of long ones, though whether he can access them (they're locked up in Blighty somewhere, cos the Yanks don't approve of Cubans) is another matter. Anyway, I can't see him managing one after all that port. Makes your head hurt.

Love the sound of the Northern Fry-Up, too. Black Pud and everything, I shouldn't wonder! It's amazing how they manage to soak up all the headache.

Just one other thing. I'm getting a bit concerned about the prospect of Alan's jokes. Is there anything that can be done?!

Ganhdi

[KillerB]

No - they just happen. I tried to make it obvious by banging my head against the table but they just kept coming.

[Conky]

You guys can have the 'No Joke Package'

It involves wearing a red sparkley Cowboy Hat and Fluffy Slippers. But no jokes, definitley no jokes.

[DRT]

Don't believe him. I wore the fluffy slippers last time and the jokes still continued - unfortunately, you can't see the slippers in the photo

Derek

PS: Well done Gahhhhhndhhhi, a sure fire entry in Apostrophe Crimes

[uncle tom]

I've been trying to fit this event into my diary, but the timing really couldn't be worse. Even if I did make it up to St Helens, I would have to drive back again in the morning before I could be sure of being sober...

So I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass on this one.

For my sins I will donate a modest bottle...

Tom

[DRT]

Tom,

This is a great shame. It would have been good to have you with us.

What a very kind gesture, although I struggle to see how anyone could describe a Fonseca 1927 as a modest bottle :lol:

I will be in touch offline.

Derek

[DRT]

With the loss of Tom, understandably, comes the loss of the 1927 from the lineup. However, Tom has very graciously offered to allow us to purchase the other bottles he had offered to supply. This means that if we want to stick to the Fonseca theme the lineup will be as follows:

• 1920
• 1963
• 1966
• 1970
• 1975
• 1977
• 1980
• 1983
• 1985
• 1992
• 2000

I will email the attendees with info on cost.

Derek

[jdaw1]

Call me a big girl’s blouse if you must, but eleven bottles is too many for five people. Even assuming that the dodgy 1920 is undrinkable, ten is OTT. We should cull one or two.

[KillerB]

Wuss

[DRT]

Call me a big girl’s blouse if you must, but eleven bottles is too many for five people. Even assuming that the dodgy 1920 is undrinkable, ten is OTT. We should cull one or two.

OK, you're a big girl's blouse

Seriously, I don't see the problem. Suppose we only drink the equivalent 6 of them on the night. All that means is that we each have some nice port to take away and drink over the following couple of days. Waste? What waste?

Derek

[Andy Velebil]

Sorry I am going to miss this, but let me assure you, that is NOT too many bottles for this group of Port drinkers. Derek and I have done some serious damage just between the 2 of us last time we were in Portugal. And that was after drinking all day at a couple of Quintas So 11 bottles sounds just about right.

Guys have a fun time and raise a glass for me, as I will be there in spirit.

[jdaw1]

I’m in for the OTT plan.

[Conky]

Shame about Tom, but the line up sounds great. I'll do my 2 bottles worth, and I'll try to help the stragglers!!!
So roll on the F Plan. Are you going to collect it all Derek and take Money on the night, or do you want anything upfront?
The weather seems to have finally changed, so fingers crossed.
I've got a Router on the computer, so there is the wireless facility, if anyone brings a laptop. I haven't got one myself, but I can probably aquire one. One of Debs kids uses his regularly when he visits. I've also got a limited WebCam, but no microphone at the moment.

Alan

[KillerB]

I'll bring my lap-dog, but I'm not sure what good a chihuahua will do for us.

[jdaw1]

We should also have a digital camera, a means of loading pictures therefrom into a computer, and that computer should have an FTP program.

[DRT]

I will arrange to pick-up the wines from Tom and let you know the arrangements for money transfer individually by PM or email.

I will also bring my camera and laptop and have the means to publish pictures on flickr.com so no FTP program required.

Derek

[Todd P]

Have a really great time you guys - I truly wish I could be there… what a fabulous line-up.

Todd

[Conky]

Cheers Todd and you other guys who can't attend.
Just remember that frontier spirit that forged North America into the Beacon of Sagacity and Peace it is today!
(In other words, if you wake up the day before, saying "Ah,blow it, I'm off to Conky's!"...We'll save you a seat. )

Alan

[Todd P]

Cheers Todd and you other guys who can't attend.
Just remember that frontier spirit that forged North America into the Beacon of Sagacity and Peace it is today!
(In other words, if you wake up the day before, saying "Ah,blow it, I'm off to Conky's!"...We'll save you a seat. )

Alan

Alan, if I were to wake up and say something like that, then one fo two very dramatic things would have happened the night before:
1 (happily) I won the lottery
2 (unhappily) my wife left me and took the kids

Either event would probably drive to that rash type of decision! How better to deal with either event than to go back in time with a fairly deep vertical of Fonseca. (If I had won the lottery, I would have to arrange a stop by Tom's cellar in order to purchase my fair share into the event!

Todd