It's just not cricket

[LGTrotter]

Question 2: Why is Tim Bresnan not playing. He is one of the best ones at chucking it that I have seen.

Does this make me a visionary?

Not unless you consider the England selectors 'visionary'.

[DRT]

Question 2: Why is Tim Bresnan not playing. He is one of the best ones at chucking it that I have seen.

Does this make me a visionary?

Not unless you consider the England selectors 'visionary'.

I was assuming that the selectors had read this thread and taken the advice of a visionary.

[LGTrotter]

Question 2: Why is Tim Bresnan not playing. He is one of the best ones at chucking it that I have seen.

Does this make me a visionary?

Not unless you consider the England selectors 'visionary'.

I was assuming that the selectors had read this thread and taken the advice of a visionary.

This thread is the equivalent of a cave in the hills. Did they make the visit to the wise hermit?

[DRT]

This thread is the equivalent of a cave in the hills. Did they make the visit to the wise hermit?

I visited them in a dream.

[DRT]

Gentlemen, start your engines.

[djewesbury]

Gentlemen, start your engines.

spin engines, thank god!

[LGTrotter]

Gentlemen, start your engines.

spin engines, thank god!

I missed that, Ta. Regroup at lunch?
No better wait for tea.

[djewesbury]

Gentlemen, start your engines.

spin engines, thank god!

I missed that, Ta. Regroup at lunch?
No better wait for tea.

Yes.

[DRT]

This seems like a very good time to watch whales committing suicide.

[LGTrotter]

This seems like a very good time to watch whales committing suicide.

That's just the point. When you end up listening to rain curtailed one dayers with Duckworth Lewis and failing light. Then you realise it's time to go to bed.

[DRT]

This smells of a draw.

[djewesbury]

This smells of a draw.

I'm not sure about that. I think England put some polyethylene in and got rid of that distinctive whiff of wet cardboard.

[DRT]

This smells of a draw.

I'm not sure about that. I think England put some polyethylene in and got rid of that distinctive whiff of wet cardboard.

Certainly looking less likely this morning but we can't be sure until we find out if England collapse again with bat in hand.

Perhaps now would be a good time for some predictions:

How many runs will Australia have by the time they are bowled out in this innings?

DRT says 387.

[LGTrotter]

DRT says 387.

Sounds about right, he's a visionary you know, I will be optimistic and say 347.

[djewesbury]

They're on 273 with Clarke still in; Haddin's got 50 in him easily, and the rest can muster up 60 between them. I'll say 400. But if it turns out that Owen is the closest, I hope it'll be because Monty's got amongst them.

[djewesbury]

Is anybody else listening to the 'daytime' broadcast knowing that the wickets are coming up?

[mpij]

421

[LGTrotter]

Just swinging my arms and bowling a few looseners. I take it the rest of the team will be out shortly.

[LGTrotter]

Jewesbury forgot his pads again I see.

[djewesbury]

Jewesbury forgot his pads again I see.

You don't know how many times I heard those words.

[DRT]

400+ is looking very likely.

[LGTrotter]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

[DRT]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

[LGTrotter]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

[DRT]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

We're just like Eric and Ernie.

[djewesbury]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

We're just like Eric and Ernie.

I thought you said you weren't going to do the song?

[DRT]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

We're just like Eric and Ernie.

I thought you said you weren't going to do the song?

I was planning on playing the piano. I can play all the right notes!

[LGTrotter]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

We're just like Eric and Ernie.

I thought you said you weren't going to do the song?

I was planning on playing the piano. I can play all the right notes!

(Clears throat) Bring me sunshine...

[DRT]

I can't believe you missed that one. Owen, it's yours!

[mpij]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

We're just like Eric and Ernie.

I am probably in a minority but have always regarded Eric Morcambe as a poor imitation of Phil Silvers.

[LGTrotter]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

We're just like Eric and Ernie.

I am probably in a minority but have always regarded Eric Morcambe as a poor imitation of Phil Silvers.

Develop your thesis, aside from the glasses I'm a bit stuck.

[DRT]

OK - back on topic.

This match is hideously boring. The only things that are happening are (a) Australia clocking up 3 runs per over and (b) Stuart Broad roaring like an idiot every time he is the only person on the planet who thinks he's just taken a wicket.

So, in the absence of anything exciting happening, at what score should Australia declare in order to give themselves sufficient time to win the test? Would 450 be a wrong answer?

[DRT]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

We're just like Eric and Ernie.

I am probably in a minority but have always regarded Eric Morcambe as a poor imitation of Phil Silvers.

No, no, no. Phil Silvers is a poor imitation of Top Cat.

[LGTrotter]

They will keep going forever. Anyway Eric and Ernie are much more soothing than the cricket, Clarke deserves runs but that pill Haddin doesn't.

[djewesbury]

... just not in the right order.
Sorry Derek. You can't get the staff.

[LGTrotter]

... just not in the right order.
Sorry Derek. You can't get the staff.

I knew that I just took it in the other direction.

[DRT]

This is now the third longest thread in Meaningless Drivel behind One Quiz and Apostrophe Crimes.

[mpij]

Nah, Monty's going to piss all over them.

I would have thought he had learned not to do that again.

I'll set em up, you knock em down.

We're just like Eric and Ernie.

I am probably in a minority but have always regarded Eric Morcambe as a poor imitation of Phil Silvers.

Develop your thesis, aside from the glasses I'm a bit stuck.

You need to look behind the glasses at what they do with eyes and eyebrows, very similar manerisms.

[mpij]

OK - back on topic.

This match is hideously boring. The only things that are happening are (a) Australia clocking up 3 runs per over and (b) Stuart Broad roaring like an idiot every time he is the only person on the planet who thinks he's just taken a wicket.

So, in the absence of anything exciting happening, at what score should Australia declare in order to give themselves sufficient time to win the test? Would 450 be a wrong answer?

If it comes to a declaration I suspect the decision will be based on how many overs they want to bowl at England today rather than what the score is.

[DRT]

OK - back on topic.

This match is hideously boring. The only things that are happening are (a) Australia clocking up 3 runs per over and (b) Stuart Broad roaring like an idiot every time he is the only person on the planet who thinks he's just taken a wicket.

So, in the absence of anything exciting happening, at what score should Australia declare in order to give themselves sufficient time to win the test? Would 450 be a wrong answer?

If it comes to a declaration I suspect the decision will be based on how many overs they want to bowl at England today rather than what the score is.

This is bad form. Two Jocks up at 2am discussing the cricket whilst all the girls are in bed

[benread]

Just woke up wondering if we had taken a wicket. Think I am having a nightmare...

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk HD

[DRT]

Just woke up wondering if we had taken a wicket. Think I am having a nightmare...

There, there. Go back to sleep!

[DRT]

How many runs will Australia have by the time they are bowled out in this innings?

DRT says 387.

Oh dear!

[mpij]

OK - back on topic.

This match is hideously boring. The only things that are happening are (a) Australia clocking up 3 runs per over and (b) Stuart Broad roaring like an idiot every time he is the only person on the planet who thinks he's just taken a wicket.

So, in the absence of anything exciting happening, at what score should Australia declare in order to give themselves sufficient time to win the test? Would 450 be a wrong answer?

If it comes to a declaration I suspect the decision will be based on how many overs they want to bowl at England today rather than what the score is.

This is bad form. Two Jocks up at 2am discussing the cricket whilst all the girls are in bed

On the subject of jocks and cricket, does anyone else remember when a Scottish team beat an English team to win a final at Lords?

[DRT]

does anyone else remember when a Scottish team beat an English team to win a final at Lords?

24 June 1314?

[mpij]

does anyone else remember when a Scottish team beat an English team to win a final at Lords?

24 June 1314?

You remember Bannockburn?! I was thinking of an event that happened in the last century rather than the 14th.

[DRT]

I just watched the highlights from last night. Oh dear.

At what point does a captain fall on his sword?

[djewesbury]

You watched? That almost feels like treachery. Much more discrete to look the other way.
What ashes?

[LGTrotter]

The title of this thread looks visionary.

I listened to Bell explain how England were going to save this match and why he shouldn't bat at 3. I weep for the future.

Looking forward to a nice chat about port or telescopes as an alternative.

[DRT]

I listened to Bell explain how England were going to save this match and why he shouldn't bat at 3. I weep for the future.

I heard a similar interview on Radio 4 today. The greatest gem from Bell whilst talking about fighting spirit was "I would much rather be in our dressing room than theirs". Owen, you are right to weep.