It's just not cricket

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 11:24 Thu 31 Jul 2014

Mr Boycott, the spiritual leader of this thread, pointed out in yesterday's TMS podcast that Moeen will keep his place as long as he keeps taking wickets. And, thus far, he does!

Post by **flash_uk** » 11:32 Thu 31 Jul 2014

Five-fer for Ali. Good man.

Post by **flash_uk** » 11:34 Thu 31 Jul 2014

Of course, this is only one test, so normal service may be resumed at Old Trafford, especially if Jimmy gets a ban.

Post by **DRT** » 11:36 Thu 31 Jul 2014

I'm thinking of going to Old Trafford for day 4 (Sunday).

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:36 Thu 31 Jul 2014

This IS normal service. Remember?

Post by **DRT** » 11:38 Thu 31 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:This IS normal service. Remember?

Normal as in "there are occasions when they forget to throw the game away"?

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 11:44 Thu 31 Jul 2014

flash_uk wrote:Of course, this is only one test, so normal service may be resumed at Old Trafford, especially if Jimmy gets a ban.

I was thinking this. Lovely to see a good performance but consistency has been a big problem for England. We shall see.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:49 Thu 31 Jul 2014

6 for Moeen and victory by 266! Now that's inconsistent!

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 11:50 Thu 31 Jul 2014

Made the series more interesting. Been good so far.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 13:29 Thu 31 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:6 for Moeen and victory by 266! Now that's inconsistent!

Maybe Moeen can become the new talisman, there was that chunky bowler; for a long while whenever he was in the side England won. Bresnan was it?

Glenn E. · Post by **Glenn E.** » 15:37 Thu 31 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:
djewesbury wrote:Looks like you're opening the batting and keeping wicket Owen. Mike is delivering his devilish spin. Who else is in?
Me.

Things for the selectors to consider:

My hand-eye co-ordination is not a strong point;
I throw like a girl. It's a hereditary shoulder problem;
Running might be problematic due to my less than optimal knee situation;
I think I would be quite good at sledging;
I would be the last man to leave the battle. I would never abandon a man on the field.
I am at your disposal.

The selection committee should remember that the position of "12th man" has already been claimed, so despite Derek's valiant attempt to be consigned to the bench he's going to have to take a position on the field.

Note: that position might be lying down.

Post by **DRT** » 22:05 Wed 06 Aug 2014

Here we go again.

Gentlemen, start your whinging.

DRT predicts a rain-interrupted draw.

Drum roll…

Post by **PhilW** » 08:29 Thu 07 Aug 2014

DRT wrote: DRT predicts a rain-interrupted draw.

Agreed, unfortunately.

Post by **DRT** » 10:45 Thu 07 Aug 2014

For JDAW:

India in to bat.

Gambhir out for 4 off 7 balls.

India 8-1

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:12 Thu 07 Aug 2014

Oh yeah, Derek, bound to be a very dull draw this one. Mm.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:14 Thu 07 Aug 2014

Good call by MS though. It takes guts to pay no attention to the conditions, the opposition's bowling attack, the pitch and the history of the ground. "Yeah, we'll bat." Good call.

Post by **DRT** » 13:12 Thu 07 Aug 2014

djewesbury wrote:Oh yeah, Derek, bound to be a very dull draw this one. Mm.

I knew this one would be boring.

Post by **DRT** » 16:24 Thu 07 Aug 2014

Cook back on form, out for 17, England 36-2 chasing 152.

If the weather holds this could be all over tomorrow!!

Now is Bell's chance to prove his critics wrong by putting on a big score when everyone else is out for nowt.

Post by **flash_uk** » 17:36 Thu 07 Aug 2014

Looks like that Bell chap might post a large score when no one above him has managed it...

Post by **DRT** » 17:41 Thu 07 Aug 2014

Bell for captain, I say. I've always liked him.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 00:35 Fri 08 Aug 2014

Yes, yes, yes, I see I am to be played upon like a stringed instrument when it comes to the vice captain/run machine that is Bell. Well I've only just got in and saw and heard nothing of play apart from snatched headlines down the pub.

Too sleepy too rant now, god bless them all, especially Ian Bell.

Post by **DRT** » 00:41 Fri 08 Aug 2014

You will regret that in the morning.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 10:52 Fri 08 Aug 2014

Did Bell get his hundred and stick around to carefully shepherd the tail? That would be a no then. In fairness to Bell 58 could still turn out to be an important knock.

Post by **DRT** » 12:11 Fri 08 Aug 2014

Much tighter now and poised for an interesting second half.

But this might still spoil the test...

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Post by **DRT** » 14:26 Fri 08 Aug 2014

England 237-6 - rain stopped play. Lots of surface water on the outfield.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 15:55 Sat 09 Aug 2014

It's going to have to rain a lot for India to get out of jail.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 16:54 Sat 09 Aug 2014

And very soon. If we win by an innings with two days to spare and one of our frontline bowlers seeing stars, what will the main complaints about England's performance be?

Post by **DRT** » 17:31 Sat 09 Aug 2014

djewesbury wrote:And very soon. If we win by an innings with two days to spare and one of our frontline bowlers seeing stars, what will the main complaints about England's performance be?

Credit where it is due. This was an excellent performance by England and an absolutely dreadful showing by India.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 17:32 Sat 09 Aug 2014

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

Post by **DRT** » 18:04 Sat 09 Aug 2014

djewesbury wrote:
(Sorry, couldn't resist)

No doubt the Zumerzet Gringe will be along shortly with a moan

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 18:05 Sat 09 Aug 2014

Hope so. Perhaps on the dismal performance of Robson etc etc. I look forward to the TPF podcast.

Post by **jdaw1** » 18:53 Sat 09 Aug 2014

What happened!

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 19:23 Sat 09 Aug 2014

jdaw1 wrote:

What happened!

We won by an innings and 54 runs in 3 days, Broad was unable to bowl in their second innings due to the injury he received batting. After two consecutive sixes, he top-edged a ball into the gap between his visor and the helmet grille and went off the field gushing blood.

EDIT: And Moeen now has 19 wickets in the series. Quite happy with his spin bowling, myself. How he manages against better opposition will be interesting. But India were supposed to be 'good'.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 20:11 Sat 09 Aug 2014

DRT wrote:
djewesbury wrote:
(Sorry, couldn't resist)
No doubt the Zumerzet Gringe will be along shortly with a moan

Ahem.

I saw so little it is hard to say. It seems it was a good England performance.

If I was forced into my usual position of Gringer to the stars I would of course mention Robson (as Daniel has), it was also a pretty poor display from India, which you could argue tells us little about how England will do against Australia and South Africa. I remember much talk at the end of the Australia tour that England would come home play on some green tops which would flatter the England bowling and put an end to speculation about the Broad/Anderson show. And it has taken until the end of the summer before they finally produced some bowling. And my question is will they look any different the next time they tour? Because the second string bowlers look a bit lame.

To end on a happy note I should like to paraphrase the Grauniad headline when Moeen Ali took six fer; "Four men went to Mo" and good luck to him!

Post by **DRT** » 20:16 Sat 09 Aug 2014

That is a quite pathetic whinge. I'm disappointed in you.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 20:18 Sat 09 Aug 2014

DRT wrote:That is a quite pathetic whinge. I'm disappointed in you.

I know. If that's the best he can do now, how's he going to manage when we play South Africa?

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 20:19 Sat 09 Aug 2014

Sorry everybody, my heart wasn't really in it.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 20:23 Sat 09 Aug 2014

Oh and I bet every England player still wakes up crying at the thought of Mitchell Johnson.

Post by **DRT** » 20:24 Sat 09 Aug 2014

LGTrotter wrote:Sorry everybody, my heart wasn't really in it.

Open some wine, think very hard about what you have done, and then come back with a rant about something. Anything. Just don't leave us like this

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 22:32 Sat 09 Aug 2014

Perhaps I should take up the mantle of Moaner-in-Chief.

England did not win this test match - India lost it and dismally. England's second line pace attack is completely amateur and will just get tonked all over the park by any side (including India if they concentrate for more than 5 minutes - look at how Dhoni did in the first innings). India are widely recognised as the best side in the world at playing spin (why do you think Swann retired before this series?). Moeen only gets wickets against India because they don't know how to play someone said to be a spinner who has the rank long-hop outside off stump as his stock delivery and the full toss on off stump as his main wicket taking delivery.

South Africa must be laughing their heads off.

And don't even get me started on the shocking and pathetic excuses we've heard from Lancashire's Chief Executive on why play had to be abandoned yesterday. Fer feck's sake guys, you're running a Test ground: the least you can do is make sure your drains are in order and you have a contingency plan in place to take away the surface water if the drains have a problem - Astroturf on the outfield!! Bloody amateurs. As punishment, take the test away from them and give it to a county that actually knows how to maintain a ground properly.

How's that for a moan?

Post by **DRT** » 22:52 Sat 09 Aug 2014

AHB wrote:How's that for a moan?

You have restored my faith in this thread. Can you please now try to fix Owen, he seems to be broken.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 22:55 Sat 09 Aug 2014

AHB wrote:How's that for a moan?

Top moan. I resign my post as moaner-in-chief.

Post by **DRT** » 23:03 Sat 09 Aug 2014

LGTrotter wrote:
AHB wrote:How's that for a moan?
Top moan. I resign my post as moaner-in-chief.

Nooooooooooooo!!!

We want Owen!
We want Owen!
We want Owen!

For he's a jolly good moaner,
for he's a jolly good moaner,
for he's a jolly good mo-o-ner,
and so say all of us!

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 23:21 Sat 09 Aug 2014

Well, yeah, no, you know, I think Oweny's had a bit of a dip in form lately, but yeah, I mean, all the lads are really behind him and yeah, you know, Bridgey played a bit of a blinder opening the moaning today but I think we're all hoping that Oweny'll come back and there's nothing broken, you know, he's such an important moaner and all the lads really want to see him back and moaning.

Post by **DRT** » 23:31 Sat 09 Aug 2014

Perhaps the few days off before the Oval will allow him to recover his form? The lad must be exhausted having been at peak moan continually since the the end of the first 2013 Ashes series. I'm sure he will be back soon. Stronger, fitter and even grumpier than normal.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 00:02 Sun 10 Aug 2014

DRT wrote:Perhaps the few days off before the Oval will allow him to recover his form? The lad must be exhausted having been at peak moan continually since the the end of the first 2013 Ashes series. I'm sure he will be back soon. Stronger, fitter and even grumpier than normal.

Let's hope so.

Post by **jdaw1** » 08:56 Sun 10 Aug 2014

AHB wrote:And don't even get me started on the shocking and pathetic excuses we've heard from Lancashire's Chief Executive on why play had to be abandoned yesterday. Fer feck's sake guys, you're running a Test ground: the least you can do is make sure your drains are in order and you have a contingency plan in place to take away the surface water if the drains have a problem - Astroturf on the outfield!! Bloody amateurs. As punishment, take the test away from them and give it to a county that actually knows how to maintain a ground properly.

This is a whole new moaning game, and nobody bit. You must have been disappointed.

Post by **DRT** » 09:04 Sun 10 Aug 2014

jdaw1 wrote:
AHB wrote:And don't even get me started on the shocking and pathetic excuses we've heard from Lancashire's Chief Executive on why play had to be abandoned yesterday. Fer feck's sake guys, you're running a Test ground: the least you can do is make sure your drains are in order and you have a contingency plan in place to take away the surface water if the drains have a problem - Astroturf on the outfield!! Bloody amateurs. As punishment, take the test away from them and give it to a county that actually knows how to maintain a ground properly.
This is a whole new moaning game, and nobody bit. You must have been disappointed.

I think it was because we all completely agreed with AHB.

The only mitigation in favour of the groundsman is that he didn't pick the date of the test. According to a text message sent to TMS yesterday there have only been two rain-free August tests at Old Trafford in 140 years, and both of those over a century ago. Presumably the timing is the fault of the ECB, not the Old Trafford management.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 09:07 Sun 10 Aug 2014

The problem was not the timing. LCCC have spent thousands on drains which didn't work. I ruled AHB's whinge out of order because he failed to use the phrase 'what's The Point'?

Post by **DRT** » 11:27 Sun 10 Aug 2014

djewesbury wrote:The problem was not the timing. LCCC have spent thousands on drains which didn't work. I ruled AHB's whinge out of order because he failed to use the phrase 'what's The Point'?

One could also as what's the point of having a cricket ground in Manchester at all. Not only is it dull and manky, it is one of the wettest places in the UK. It doesn't need drains, it needs a roof.