SimonSaysDrink

[RonnieRoots]

AKA Pfalzman, AKA the man who knows everything about German port.

Welcome and have some fun here!

[DRT]

...and, it would seem, a man with an interesting career

Welcome to TPF - do we call you Simon?

Derek

[Luc]

Bienvenue !!
A part from living in crap , your occupations are to die for . . .

[SimonSaysDrink]

Holy Balls! I waited and waited to get some form of confirmation from the admins that I was allowed to play with y'all, and to think I could have just tried logging in...well, I did try, but apparently I wasn't a 'confirmed' lion tamer at the time. Fortunately the admins now know of my cat and, ehem, another-cat-moniker skills.

So, without further ado, here's my first tasting note on Germany's ONLY Port (that I know of), Markus Schneider and Walter Hensel's Ubermut: Ask Ronnie. He has it now.

Ronnie--thanks for the warm welcome. At present I'm narrowing down my bring-to-the-Roots-wedding wine choices. Wow. Soooo much good German white port. Seriously, Friday night will be great; but Saturday--GREATEREST!

Derek T.--when I'm not thoroughly engrossed in my primary duties of controlling lions and ladies, I try my absolute best to control aircraft. In fact, I reckon I'm far better at my secondary duty, having never tamed a lion and never EVER tamed the woman I married. She really is the best though; all the Storn Par talk, etc., is complete nonsense...when the digicam's broke. And her Euro paycheck buys the wine. You can call me Simon or Samson or EZ or PfalzMan; I respond immediately to all of these. They're all explainable, but have nothing to do with Port, so why bother. Well...the Pfalz izzz making Germany's only Port (red and white). Ask Ronnie how gude it is. HA!

Luc--Bienven-you! Thanks! I certainly hope I die from none of these jobs, but I'd kill to get out of poop right now. The house is nice, but the town sucks hairy scrote. We'd like to move to Kaiserslautern, the biggest city nearby, but that's on hold until we can afford to pay the crooked real estate people that deal with us Ami-s.

To all--sorry I'm four days behind on getting back to you all, but I sincerely appreciate your welcome. I'm looking forward to getting to know the world's greatest wines with you. And I'm always down for a continental offline if the opportunity's there. If someone's willing to open their home, I might even consider a trip to Good Britain. If the pound ever leaves the stratosphere for more earthly bounds, I'll revise my declaration to 'Great' Britain. Right now, it's just a 90-point country; but with a competitive currency, I'm thinking we might jump to the 95+ range.
If I've offended anyone with this rating, then we should meet somewhere, drink Port, then fight. Remember...'Lion Tamer'...IDFA.

To Port!
SimonSayDrink

[DRT]

Simon,

Good to see you here. Apologies for the lack of confirmation. I was the Admin who let you in and was under the impression an automated message would be despatched. This clearly does not happen, but now I know not to expect it.

Have you ever thought of using the lion to tame the woman?

Derek

[jdaw1]

If the pound ever leaves the stratosphere for more earthly bounds, I'll revise my declaration to 'Great' Britain.

Actually, the euro is strong against the pound: the BBC reports that £1 ≈ ┚¬1.35.

If I've offended anyone with this rating, then we should meet somewhere, drink Port, then fight.

I’m not sure we should be encouraging UK versus Germany fights. Really. The last one shook the cellars quite sufficiently, and even broke some bottles.

[DRT]

If I've offended anyone with this rating, then we should meet somewhere, drink Port, then fight.

I’m not sure we should be encouraging UK versus Germany fights. Really. The last one shook the cellars quite sufficiently, and even broke some bottles.

Agreed. It was outrageous. The ball definately did not cross the line for number 2 and the last goal should not have been allowed to stand with people on the pitch.

Derek

[jdaw1]

Exactly what I meant, of course.

[SimonSaysDrink]

There's no taming the Frau. Not even with a lion--too many shoes to throw at it. Once the shoes run out, what do you think she'd throw next...Yup, the wine; worse yet, the Port.

With regard to the strength of the Euro: From the calculation provided, it appears I'm still losing my ass, just not so much of it. Morever, I myself am recompensed in USD, compounding the ass-loss, the wife receiving Euro cash for her fine work in unsurance (sic). Euro cash--American account--British iShop. One giant ass-loss.

If fight we must, then we ought really to drink what's appropriate. A '66 would suit me just fine. What Port of that age would instigate such fury though? Any '66 Geoff Hurst Special Reserve out there?

[KillerB]

Hi SSD/Pfalzman, good to see you over here. I must have a word with that Derek about sending PMs to all the people that he approves.

As for the Geoff Hurst stuff, not sure that he has some. Cliff Richard has Portuguese wines but hasn't managed to get the Quinta do Devil Woman VP released yet.

[DRT]

I must have a word with that Derek about sending PMs to all the people that he approves.

I blame the inadequate Admin training regime

Derek

PS: I believe the Quinta do Cliffy Summer Holiday Colheita 1962 is to die for

[KillerB]

and the celebration Quinta do Congratulations 1968, ranked second that year, is to die for.

I accept the training jibe, it is valid

[DRT]

I accept the training jibe, it is valid

Could you just remind us what you do for a living?

[KillerB]

Can't remember for the life of me.

[jdaw1]

I have been sending a welcome PM to new folks, pointing them at their introduction thread. Please don’t taint me with the failings of other admins — I have enough of my own to be getting on with† .

†  Yuck: I also hate the prepositional ending.

[SimonSaysDrink]

Youv'e all done a spectacular job welcoming, me regardless of PM's, Intros'--whatever. I'm just very glad to be a part of this community of drinker's.

jdaw1--just holler at me if you find any punctuation mistake's or anything like syntax or usage-wise that maybe I can work on. Are collective attempts to correct are errors in English is a noble endeavor, for whom we call all be greatful.

Cheer's!

[jdaw1]

I attempt to ignore parodies and deliberate errors. For real errors your request is noted: after a while you might tire of being corrected.

The non-deliberate error in your post was the use of a double-hyphen “--† instead of an m-dash “—†.

[SimonSaysDrink]

jdaw1--your mastery of the Mother Tongue is well respected and appreciated I hope. I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally proofread posts for errors in syntax and punctuation, although I do this unwittingly. I suppose it's the perfectionist in me, a trait with which I suspect your initimately familiar. Different backgrounds, different demands, different circumstances-all these contribute to the varied landscape of our language, and no doubt contribute to its allure and its bas-tard-izing (somehow this became 'bar steward'. Remarkable.). I'll make mistakes, too; of that I'm quite certain. But what I most admire is the attempt at writing correctly. I'll never judge or condemn lest I warrant the same on my behalf. But it sure is nice to read a poster who evinces the noble attempt at perfection, though to a few of us sticklers, clearly falls short. I'm much more engaged by these than by those who clearly made no attempt at all to speak high English. We are connoisseurs, are we not? Having said all that, should we ever meet, you'll discover in short order that I've incorporated a rather prolific melange of profanity into my high English, a rather sad condition of my current occupation and a complete contradiction of everything I've just written in defense of the connoisseur. I apologize in advance.

[jdaw1]

What can I say? You tongue isn’t quite Mother, as you use “defense† as a noun, which is correct in American English, but in British English spelt “defence†. Compare UK Ministry of Defence with U.S. Department of Defense.

[KillerB]

Sloppy proof-reading there, Julian:

You tongue isn’t quite Mother

[RonnieRoots]

That phrase sounds like Jamaican English to me.

BTW: Cliff Richard would never dare to make port. At least, not as long as his vineyard is located in the Algarve.

[KillerB]

BTW: Cliff Richard would never dare to make port. At least, not as long as his vineyard is located in the Algarve.

Stop clouding the issue with facts

[jdaw1]

Sloppy proof-reading there, Julian:

You tongue isn’t quite Mother

Sloppy indeed. My excuse, pathetic though it is, is that baby on lap was using 80% of screen, and >50% of attention. Pathetic.

[SimonSaysDrink]

Yes, quite sloppy. Your desire to colour the issue with my BrE shortcomings, whilst you, having certainly read Grammar at Oxford, engage in lackluster, hardly pardonable lingual iniquity, is utter hilarity. I do appreciate your tuppence worth however.

(I can't do this much longer. I'm fearful of someone taking all this personally. God forbid. I've been on the site all of two minutes. )

jdaw1-favorite writer? Go.

Mine: Chesterton.

I've many second and third favourites.

[Conky]

I attempt to ignore parodies and deliberate errors. For real errors your request is noted: after a while you might tire of being corrected.
The non-deliberate error in your post was the use of a double-hyphen “--† instead of an m-dash “—†.

D'ya Think!!!

[Alex Bridgeman]

(I can't do this much longer. I'm fearful of someone taking all this personally. God forbid. I've been on the site all of two minutes. )

Simon,

Welcome to the site. Don't worry (too much) about offending people on the site. Most of us have offended each other at least once and we've all recovered from it. We are united in Port and happy with it.

Alex

[jdaw1]

I attempt to ignore parodies and deliberate errors. For real errors your request is noted: after a while you might tire of being corrected.
The non-deliberate error in your post was the use of a double-hyphen “--† instead of an m-dash “—†.

D'ya Think!!!

Not if one is always being corrected for the same thing. In that case one might learn something!

[KillerB]

Julian,

Scousers many years ago removed the ' from Can't and Don't as they considered it superfluous. You have not learned this fact yet,

Alex

P.S. Dont panic about the incorrect apostophe, I really cant be bothered with the ASCII character. And stop reading Lynne Truss.

[DRT]

I think I should come to Jdaw's defence here. I can say with certainty that I never tire of Conky being corrected. Indeed it is often the highlight of my day.

Simon, feel free to offend, but be prepared to take it back in spades.

Jdaw, stop using emoticons. You are displaying weakness under pressure.

Derek

[jdaw1]

Jdaw, stop using emoticons. You are displaying weakness under pressure.

An order from an admin is, well, an order from an admin. Must be obeyed, sort of thing† . Henceforth you’ll just have to guess when I’m smiling.

†  Especially if grovelling might mean I inherit his cellar.

[jdaw1]

Dont panic about the incorrect apostophe, I really cant be bothered with the ASCII character. And stop reading Lynne Truss.

' and " are ASCII; “ † ‘ ’ are not.

Lynne Truss? I was picky long before she was famous.

[SimonSaysDrink]

What is this ASCII character of which you all speak? I suppose I should correct my apostrophe usage now lest I find myself scurrying from a hole I've dug.

Aside: If there's something everyone should know about SSD, he's a peacekeeper, or at least attempts to be. Despite finding it fun and occasionally hysterical to jab and gibe from time to time, the undertaking itself is indescribably unsettling to me. I don't know the cause of this, just that it's so. If ever I truly offend someone, or cross an unauthorized line, please-PLEEEEZ-PM me and kindly correct me. So that I can then make amends. I take the sense of community-like that which I've found here-to heart, and, IMHO, don't see the rationale behind discord among its members, nor does such discord align itself with the spirit of Port, namely fellowship. Disagreement: good and constructive; jabs and gibes: great and frequently warranted; discord: see above. And geeeeez luhweeeeez-if I piss somebody off, I've not done so intentionally and I humbly apologize in advance.

Now, let's get back to Port and cast all this pseudo serious talk aside. It's been one week now since I last drank the stuff; I can't help but think I'm getting more satisfaction from typing all this nonsense than I am from drinking what brought me here.

Peace and good will to all.

To the Boards!

SSD

[DRT]

Well said, SSD.

Now go to The BIG Detox thread and tell us why you have not had port for 7 days

[KillerB]

SSD - if you have offended anyone then they are the sort of wusses that we don't want here. No need to apologise for anything you've said so far nor I suspect in the future, but sentiment acknowledged.

[Alex Bridgeman]

I know there are Southern Jessies who are members of the forum, but heaven help us if we also have port wusses aboard.

They must be almost as bad as cork weevils.

Alex

[jdaw1]

And have a prize for the most splendid introduction thread yet.

[DRT]

...and the only one so far to run to 2 pages

[KillerB]

... and will soon double Julian's Shocking Attempt to have the longest introduction thread. Well done SSD.

[Conky]

This is NOT the way the Forum deals with its minor differences of opinions...



Originally developed by Kubler-Ross, the Change Curve is a model that explains the grieving process. However, it is has been adopted as a means of getting staff through a period of major change, whether it be a restructuring or the result of a merger or acquisition. The Change Curve describes the stages anyone must go through when faced with a change in their lives. From grieving a loved one to changing an IT system, people have to experience the same three stages of personal development in order to move on. These stages describe nine states of emotion :

Stage 1 : Shock, Denial, Numbness
Stage 2 : Fear, Anger, Depression
Stage 3 : Understanding, Acceptance, Moving On

[DRT]

This is NOT the way the Forum deals with its minor differences of opinions...



Stage 1 : Shock, Denial, Numbness
Stage 2 : Fear, Anger, Depression
Stage 3 : Understanding, Acceptance, Moving On

Conky,

I am shocked and simply cannot believe your accusation that we do not deal with stress and conflict in line with this model. Your comments have left me feeling numb and I fear that this will soon turn to anger and no doubt depression.

That said, I understand not everyone is the same and accept that there are always different ways to deal with things so I feel there is no option but to put the behind us and move on.

Derek

[KillerB]

Moving on

This doubles Julian's Shock and Awe tactics.

[jdaw1]

I believe that the usual method of dealing with disagreement and conflict is just to edit the silly man’s posts. Then he agrees! — Admin3

[KillerB]

Oooohh - Julian's gone all Martinez.

I hope to be Malvedossing it up very soon, myself.

[StevieCage]

See you VERY soon, Pfalzman!