Apostrophe crimes

Post by **jdaw1** » 23:04 Thu 03 Jan 2008

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8236#8236]Here[/url] Conky wrote:Luckily, mines not 15 stone!

The man is on a roll.

Oh no he’s not, he’s dieting.

Post by **jdaw1** » 03:03 Mon 07 Jan 2008

In reading an old TPF thread, I found an apostrophe crime by me. A space where there should have been a right single apostrophe. By me.

Oh the shame of it. Excuse me whilst I go ﬂagellate myself.

Post by **DRT** » 10:37 Mon 07 Jan 2008

Please provide a helpful link.

Post by **jdaw1** » 14:20 Mon 07 Jan 2008

No. I thought Conky would derive pleasure from ﬁnding it himself.

Post by **DRT** » 15:38 Mon 07 Jan 2008

How would Conky recognise an apostrophe error?

Post by **jdaw1** » 16:12 Mon 07 Jan 2008

That’s the point. Knowing there is one, with the clues I gave above, he would derive a sense of great satisfaction from ﬁnding it. (Which he might have to do using his new grammar checker, but, nonetheless.)

Post by **jdaw1** » 23:06 Mon 07 Jan 2008

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8393#8393]Here[/url] Conky wrote:Fairs fair, I cant remember whether it was brown sauce or red sauce.

Two missing apostrophes.

Post by **jdaw1** » 23:07 Mon 07 Jan 2008

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8395#8395]Here[/url] Conky wrote:What a shame you cant come over this side of the Pond. You can put up with our Julian, and you like your Chip Butties...you'd fit right in.

(You can talk crap until the early hours, of course, cant you?)

Two more.

Post by **DRT** » 12:58 Tue 08 Jan 2008

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8433#8433]Here[/url] Conky wrote:I cant fault the logic

And another.

Luc · Post by **Luc** » 13:35 Tue 08 Jan 2008

I found the apostrophe errors !!!
Am I improving or do I have a keener insight into Meaningless drivel . . .

Post by **jdaw1** » 14:16 Tue 08 Jan 2008

You found my old error? Or you now see Conky’s?

Luc · Post by **Luc** » 14:33 Tue 08 Jan 2008

Both !!!!
I'm so excited . . . I think I'll break wind .

Post by **jdaw1** » 14:40 Tue 08 Jan 2008

The you should quote my error, in the format now blessed by its antiquity.

Luc · Post by **Luc** » 16:24 Tue 08 Jan 2008

I would quote , but just came off the night shift .
Bonne nuit !!

Post by **jdaw1** » 05:14 Fri 11 Jan 2008

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8775#8775]Here[/url] jdaw1 wrote:Normally I don’t criticise the punctuation of those whose ﬁrst language isnt English.

What is wrong with me this week? Even my previous post to this thread missed an ‟n”. I think I have major 1966 deprivation. How could this be cured, I wonder?

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 08:59 Fri 11 Jan 2008

Damn - beat me to it

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 09:57 Fri 11 Jan 2008

I doubt it, but you may be developing a human side!

Hope the Collective 'isnt' too upset.

Luc · Post by **Luc** » 14:03 Fri 11 Jan 2008

I also have '63 & '66 deprivation .
Could this cloud my judgement in Drivel matters ?

Post by **jdaw1** » 14:24 Fri 11 Jan 2008

KillerB wrote:Damn - beat me to it

I saw it after Luc had quoted it, so there was no covering up (‟up there was no covering” would be horrible). A quick admission felt like the cheapest escape.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 16:48 Fri 11 Jan 2008

jdaw1 wrote:...so there was no covering up (“up there was no covering† would be horrible).

How about "so no covering up was possible" and using "to cover up" as a compound verb?

Post by **jdaw1** » 16:53 Fri 11 Jan 2008

AHB wrote:so no covering up was possible

That works. Thank you.

Post by **DRT** » 13:24 Sat 12 Jan 2008

Here

Conky wrote:Fairs, fair.

and

They will now see that its not all about a few nerds

and

hyperactive Brides Mothers

Deputy Sheriff

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 13:26 Sat 12 Jan 2008

I think you should set up a Club.

Its a good idea isnt it!!!

Post by **jdaw1** » 13:28 Sat 12 Jan 2008

I have been so sloppy myself in the last week I felt that it would be inappropriate to act on these which I did see. But I am glad to see that Derek T. has taken the torch from my failing hands.

Post by **DRT** » 13:32 Sat 12 Jan 2008

Alan,

Following jdaws normal rule I will refrain from reporting intentional crimes, such as the one in your post above.

jdaw,

You can have the torch back when you are feeling better. Or on Monday, whichever happens first.

Post by **jdaw1** » 13:38 Sat 12 Jan 2008

Derek T. wrote:Following jdaws normal rule

Was that intentional? Not obviously.

Post by **DRT** » 13:45 Sat 12 Jan 2008

No. But as English is not my native language it doesn't count

Luc · Post by **Luc** » 13:47 Sat 12 Jan 2008

Hey , I'm I involved in something here ?
Does It involve Port & Punctuation ?

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 14:22 Sat 12 Jan 2008

Luc wrote:Hey , I'm I involved in something here ?
Does It involve Port & Punctuation ?

Is that the missing Jane Austen novel?

Luc · Post by **Luc** » 05:32 Sun 13 Jan 2008

KillerB wrote:
Luc wrote:Hey , I'm I involved in something here ?
Does It involve Port & Punctuation ?
Is that the missing Jane Austen novel?

Hard to believe that Jane Austen and Austen Powers were related . . .

Post by **DRT** » 10:21 Sun 13 Jan 2008

Are they both related to Steve Austin of Bionic Man fame?

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 11:13 Sun 13 Jan 2008

Derek,

As you have made mistakes in Posts, in the rush to correct my apostrophe crimes, and now you're making apostrophe mistakes in this thread, it has only just dawned on me....

Well done Agent Turnbull, the mission is going well, the whole place will crumble and fall shortly.

Alan

Post by **DRT** » 11:19 Sun 13 Jan 2008

Conky wrote:Derek,

As you have made mistakes in Posts, in the rush to correct my apostrophe crimes, and now you're making apostrophe mistakes in this thread, it has only just dawned on me....

Well done Agent Turnbull, the mission is going well, the whole place will crumble and fall shortly.

Alan

Actually, it's "Turnbull, Double Agent Turnbull - shaken but difficult to stir"

Post by **jdaw1** » 00:47 Mon 14 Jan 2008

{Very nasal accent} Agent ‘W’ reporting for duty sir.

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8934#8934]Here[/url] Conky wrote:Well done Agent Turnbull, the mission is going well, the whole place will crumble and fall shortly.

Back from a weekend away: am I allowed to object to the second comma? It should be at least a semi-colon, or maybe even a full colon.

Post by **jdaw1** » 00:48 Mon 14 Jan 2008

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8934#8934]Here[/url] ADV wrote:I once used it to remove paint from a counter top then made maragrita's with it

Post by **jdaw1** » 00:48 Mon 14 Jan 2008

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8924#8924]Here[/url] Conky wrote:Shouldn't you delete our new friends Email address from the open Forum asap.

Conky · Post by **Conky** » 01:15 Mon 14 Jan 2008

jdaw1 wrote:
[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8924#8924]Here[/url] Conky wrote:Shouldn't you delete our new friends Email address from the open Forum asap.

Thanks Jules, I uncritically try to rectify an innocent mistake of yours, and get it highlighted as a mistake!

I suppose you're back!

Post by **jdaw1** » 02:23 Mon 14 Jan 2008

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8970#8970]Here[/url] Gonzales Byass wrote:

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 10:46 Mon 14 Jan 2008

Well I can't see Gonzales Byass' apostrophe error. Can anyone else (apart from Julian)?

Alex

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 10:48 Mon 14 Jan 2008

Now I've found it - "Spains Dry Sherry"

Post by **DRT** » 10:54 Mon 14 Jan 2008

Gonzalez Byass wrote:Spains dry sherry

Post by **DRT** » 10:56 Mon 14 Jan 2008

Damn

- someone interupted me and I didn't hit the submit button before AHB spotted it.

Derek

Post by **jdaw1** » 17:15 Wed 16 Jan 2008

Not an apostrophe crime, but a four-times repeated grammatical error.

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=9114#9114]Here[/url] Derek T. wrote:One of four bottles purchased from Uncle Tom by Derek T in December 2007. The total cost of £180 was subsequently shared equally by Conky, KillerB, Overtired & emotional and Derek T. The latter of whom takes credit for the contribution of this bottle to the line-up.

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=9113#9113]Here[/url] Derek T. wrote:One of four bottles purchased from Uncle Tom by Derek T in December 2007. The total cost of £180 was subsequently shared equally by Derek T, Conky, Overtired & emotional and KillerB. The latter of whom takes credit for the contribution of this bottle to the line-up.

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=9112#9112]Here[/url] Derek T. wrote:One of four bottles purchased from Uncle Tom by Derek T in December 2007. The total cost of £180 was subsequently shared equally by Derek T, KillerB, Overtired & emotional and Conky. The latter of whom takes credit for the contribution of this bottle to the line-up.

[url=http://www.theportforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=9111#9111]Here[/url] Derek T. wrote:One of four bottles purchased from Uncle Tom by Derek T in December 2007. The total cost of £180 was subsequently shared equally by Derek T, Conky, KillerB and Overtired & emotional. The latter of whom takes credit for the contribution of this bottle to the line-up.

What’s the error?

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 17:31 Wed 16 Jan 2008

'Latter' should be 'Last' as there are more than two.

Post by **jdaw1** » 17:34 Wed 16 Jan 2008

Very good. Anything else?

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 17:37 Wed 16 Jan 2008

jdaw1 wrote:Very good. Anything else?

You would prefer semi-colons.

Post by **jdaw1** » 17:56 Wed 16 Jan 2008

KillerB wrote:
jdaw1 wrote:Very good. Anything else?
You would prefer semi-colons.

No. Commas ﬁne.

KillerB · Post by **KillerB** » 18:26 Wed 16 Jan 2008

jdaw1 wrote:
KillerB wrote:
jdaw1 wrote:Very good. Anything else?
You would prefer semi-colons.
No. Commas ﬁne.

Equally by rather than between?

Post by **DRT** » 18:29 Wed 16 Jan 2008

jdaw1 wrote:Anything else?

According to MS Word 'whom' should be 'who'

jdaw1 wrote:a four-times repeated grammatical error

A more precise description would be 'a grammatical error that was copied and pasted three times'

Derek

Post by **jdaw1** » 18:31 Wed 16 Jan 2008

The total cost of £180 was subsequently shared equally by Derek T, Conky, KillerB and Overtired & emotional, the last of whom takes credit for the contribution of this bottle to the line-up.

MS = The digital devil.

ThePortForum.com