Port and literature

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 18:48 Thu 07 Jan 2016

PhilW wrote:
djewesbury wrote:This is working so well!!
It is, except for the lack of new page for me to read this morning; I want my fix!

Pages are posted on a nightly basis. Please, form an orderly queue and do not slouch against the reading-rails.

Post by **DRT** » 19:45 Thu 07 Jan 2016

Post by **jdaw1** » 20:39 Thu 07 Jan 2016

AHB wrote:Perhaps JDAW could add this functionality to the tasting mat software.

No.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 21:57 Thu 07 Jan 2016

Quiet please.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 21:59 Thu 07 Jan 2016

Gripping, isn't it?!

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 22:25 Thu 07 Jan 2016

I note the appearance of a niece. It remains to be seen if she is mousey and therefore the murderer.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:27 Thu 07 Jan 2016

LGTrotter wrote:I note the appearance of a niece. It remains to be seen if she is mousey and therefore the murderer.

You're a very clever chap, eh what?

Or are you?

Post by **DRT** » 18:25 Fri 08 Jan 2016

Does anyone know what time tonight's episode begins?

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 19:01 Fri 08 Jan 2016

DRT wrote:Does anyone know what time tonight's episode begins?

He'll be crying over the Amy Winehouse documentary so not until 3am I would guess.

Justin K · Post by **Justin K** » 19:07 Fri 08 Jan 2016

Nobody touch the cigar!

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:36 Fri 08 Jan 2016

LGTrotter wrote:
DRT wrote:Does anyone know what time tonight's episode begins?
He'll be crying over the Amy Winehouse documentary so not until 3am I would guess.

Actually I'm watching Hot Fuzz AGAIN. Yarp.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 23:19 Fri 08 Jan 2016

I also seem to have drunk an unsafe amount.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 23:35 Fri 08 Jan 2016

Yarp.

Post by **DRT** » 13:27 Sat 09 Jan 2016

A somewhat underwhelming episode. Hopefully tonight will give us some real edge of the seat stuff.

PS: I wonder how far into the story we will get before the Copyright Police turn up to seize jurisdiction from the local Fuzz?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:35 Sat 09 Jan 2016

I imagine that if we delete the earlier pages before a certain percentage of the publication has been reproduced then we'll be fine.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:36 Sat 09 Jan 2016

Or I could cease the serialisation forthwith?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:36 Sat 09 Jan 2016

DRT wrote:A somewhat underwhelming episode. Hopefully tonight will give us some real edge of the seat stuff.

Derek's missed the biggest clue so far.

Post by **DRT** » 14:01 Sat 09 Jan 2016

I was mostly commenting on the lack of enthusiasm from your readers, and did notice the introduction of another suspect.

Post by **DRT** » 14:04 Sat 09 Jan 2016

DRT wrote:I wonder how far into the story we will get before the Copyright Police turn up to seize jurisdiction from the local Fuzz?

djewesbury wrote:I imagine that if we delete the earlier pages before a certain percentage of the publication has been reproduced then we'll be fine.

djewesbury wrote:Or I could cease the serialisation forthwith?

I think we will be ok

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 14:15 Sat 09 Jan 2016

DRT wrote:I was mostly commenting on the lack of enthusiasm from your readers, and did notice the introduction of another suspect.

I presume Craven must also have a niece.

Post by **DRT** » 14:58 Sat 09 Jan 2016

It surprised me that a butler of Craven's experience would not know how many dozens of Ck08 remained in the bin. Perhaps that was the only way to introduce the cellar book as a suspect?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 16:06 Sat 09 Jan 2016

DRT wrote:It surprised me that a butler of Craven's experience would not know how many dozens of Ck08 remained in the bin. Perhaps that was the only way to introduce the cellar book as a suspect?

A butler can't always know immediately how many dozens of port his master has already guzzled. Especially one distressed by said master's untimely demise. And the very idea of a suspect cellar book - JDAW will be aghast!

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 16:51 Sat 09 Jan 2016

DRT wrote:I was mostly commenting on the lack of enthusiasm from your readers.

I was all agog. To the trained mind no detail is too small to be overlooked. The evidence of the bottle is surely suggestive to even the meanest intelligence, I name no names...

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 17:57 Sat 09 Jan 2016

And now, when you would like this evening's instalment posted? I have the photo here and ready to send but it seems awfully early.

Post by **DRT** » 19:34 Sat 09 Jan 2016

I think a 21:00 episode would be good. I'll put the Hot Dogs on at 20:40.

Post by **PhilW** » 19:48 Sat 09 Jan 2016

21:00 would be ideal, especially in the week when that would allow me to read it at night, instead of the following morning.

Post by **PhilW** » 19:58 Sat 09 Jan 2016

DRT wrote:It surprised me that a butler of Craven's experience would not know how many dozens of Ck08 remained in the bin. Perhaps that was the only way to introduce the cellar book as a suspect?

Surely that would depend on the volume of the cellar? He should be precise on entry and use, but especially without OWCs, remembering the available number of all bottles of all vintages off-hand might be ambitious.

Post by **PhilW** » 20:46 Sat 09 Jan 2016

It's almost time...

Post by **DRT** » 21:03 Sat 09 Jan 2016

PhilW wrote:
DRT wrote:It surprised me that a butler of Craven's experience would not know how many dozens of Ck08 remained in the bin. Perhaps that was the only way to introduce the cellar book as a suspect?
Surely that would depend on the volume of the cellar? He should be precise on entry and use, but especially without OWCs, remembering the available number of all bottles of all vintages off-hand might be ambitious.

This is a man who has been managing a cellar for one man's drinking for four decades. He would know, just as he would know how many spoons needed to be polished by the kitchen maid each morning before she ate her gruel.

Post by **DRT** » 21:05 Sat 09 Jan 2016

PhilW wrote:It's almost time...

The time has come and gone. The projectionist is presumably sniffing meths again.

Post by **PhilW** » 21:18 Sat 09 Jan 2016

Looks like we might have to make our own story tonight...

DRT wrote:... just as he would know how many spoons needed to be polished by the kitchen maid each morning before she ate her gruel.

Gruel? Every morning?! We were lucky if we had one bowl to share between ten of us, once a week!

Post by **jdaw1** » 21:55 Sat 09 Jan 2016

DRT wrote:It surprised me that a butler of Craven's experience would not know how many dozens of Ck08 remained in the bin. Perhaps that was the only way to introduce the cellar book as a suspect?

I always know exactly how many Dow 1908s are in my cellar.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:26 Sat 09 Jan 2016

jdaw1 wrote:
DRT wrote:It surprised me that a butler of Craven's experience would not know how many dozens of Ck08 remained in the bin. Perhaps that was the only way to introduce the cellar book as a suspect?
I always know exactly how many Dow 1908s are in my cellar.

Me too!

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:28 Sat 09 Jan 2016

Calm down everyone. A healthy dose of suspense [government note: there is no safe level of suspense] never does you any harm [Chief Medical Officer: yes it does]

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 22:53 Sat 09 Jan 2016

Thank-you Daniel. I assume we have all correctly divined the true meaning of the question about the pond or stream? Of course, absurdly simple.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:54 Sat 09 Jan 2016

I hope you don't get led too far astray Owen.

Post by **DRT** » 23:47 Sat 09 Jan 2016

I am now officially on the edge of my seat. I just can't think of any good explanation about the boy flying the kite. What is that all about?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 23:49 Sat 09 Jan 2016

Yes. Good. Well done Derek.

Tomorrow's episode is really exciting. A major revelation is impending.

Post by **DRT** » 23:56 Sat 09 Jan 2016

My breath is bated.

Post by **jdaw1** » 10:40 Sun 10 Jan 2016

Commendation for Daniel’s very good theatre.

And an excellent name for a wine merchant: Plummett and Rose.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 17:26 Sun 10 Jan 2016

jdaw1 wrote:Commendation for Daniel’s very good theatre.

And an excellent name for a wine merchant: Plummett and Rose.

This and all like comments hitherto received I gratefully acknowledge and accept. It's a pleasure working with such an appreciative crowd.

Post by **DRT** » 17:44 Sun 10 Jan 2016

Surely it is only a matter of time before this wonderful adaptation of the author's work is properly recognised?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 19:54 Sun 10 Jan 2016

Are you ready? I'm ready.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 21:42 Sun 10 Jan 2016

Oh in that case…

Post by **PhilW** » 22:14 Sun 10 Jan 2016

All ready here, but nothing to read...

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 22:24 Sun 10 Jan 2016

It's your time we're wasting.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:32 Sun 10 Jan 2016

LGTrotter wrote:It's your time we're wasting.

Not at all. I'm watching Jake Chapman speak some of the most intelligent sentences yet heard on BBC TV, while I make a bolognese.

Now do you want to know what happens in the cellar or not?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:33 Sun 10 Jan 2016

Oh go on then. You've been so good until now.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 01:42 Mon 11 Jan 2016

Not far to go now. Still no news on whether the niece is mousey. Perhaps the port in question will prove to be the 1896. Look out for a tasting note similar to this;

AHB wrote:Pale in colour, a dull burnt sienna, and slightly cloudy. Hot on the nose, smelling slightly of burnt rubber. Oranges and citric acidity in the mouth with the acidity creating quite a lot of heat. Dry and mostly dried out but showing some citric fruit - think of biting into an unripe orange. Strange sensation of tannins. A huge burst of heat on swallowing, which takes a long time to fade but eventually settles into a long and delicious finish. 90/100. Drunk 29 June 2009.

Post by **PhilW** » 10:20 Mon 11 Jan 2016

Will Mr. Egg be able to identify to which other stack of empties the rogue bottle belongs (either by smell, bottle-type, capsule or white-wash)?
Will the real bottle used for last night's drinking be found in the cellar or elsewhere?
Is the niece mousey?
Is Derek's breath still bated?
Only one man (and a lot of book stores, and libraries, and possibly websites, but never mind those) has the answer...