Health tips for middle-aged men

[DRT]

JDAW and I spent a very productive few hours this evening debating various aspects of what makes for a healthy lifestyle. In the interest of sharing collective wisdom with others here I offer up the following key guidelines (facts?) which fellow members might want to consider in their general approach to food, drink and health:

1. It is always a good idea to follow a strict low-carb diet. An excellent example being to not have brown sauce on a bacon sandwich.

2. Where two port-lovers find themselves working within a few hundred yards of one another on weekdays for six months it is essential that they have no more than four drinking sessions together per week.

3. Never, and I mean NEVER, eat your own vegetables and then eat the vegetables left by your chum. Life-threatening hiccups are the only certain outcome of such insane behaviour. You have been warned!

4. If you must drink alcohol, be sure to drink it with approximately 94-95% water. Doing this ensures that (a) it is more or less alcohol free; (b) it is completely carbohydrate free and, (c) you will be able to sustain a coherent intellectual conversation all evening.

Please feel free to add other pearls of wisdom in this thread!

[benread]

3. Never, and I mean NEVER, eat your own vegetables and then eat the vegetables left by your chum. Life-threatening hiccups are the only certain outcome of such insane behaviour. You have been warned!

Who needed help finishing their chips then?!

[jdaw1]

Crispy pancake duck: I needed more of the onion and cucumber, so stole Derek’s. Then had hiccups.

[DRT]

Crispy pancake duck: I needed more of the onion and cucumber, so stole Derek’s. Then had hiccups.

Which proves beyon doubt that all of the above is true.

[Andy Velebil]

Crispy pancake duck: I needed more of the onion and cucumber, so stole Derek’s. Then had hiccups.

Which proves beyon doubt that all of the above is true.

Be thankful he didn't steal your Port too

[mpij]

I have a theory that as port is fortified before fermentation is complete(and therefore retains much of the natural grape juice) that it counts towards 5 a day fruit and veg!!!

[mpij]

And as I said to my parents yesterday "that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[jdaw1]

Where two port-lovers find themselves working within a few hundred yards of one another on weekdays for six months it is essential that they have no more than four drinking sessions together per week.

Does that include weekends?

[DRT]

Where two port-lovers find themselves working within a few hundred yards of one another on weekdays for six months it is essential that they have no more than four drinking sessions together per week.

Does that include weekends?

No.