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I have just made a rough-and-ready estimate of my lifetime’s consumption of Port, as a multiple of my body mass. Slightly disappointingly, it’s only 8.4×. About three-quarters of it in the last ten years.

Is drinking Port totalling eight times one’s weight a lot? It feels like a small number. Twenty would have felt like a decent job done.

Have any of us drunk more than 1 body mass of pre-WW2 Port? Not I.

As you drink more port, paradoxically, the ratio may go down...

As your body is supposed to replace all cells every seven years perhaps you should reset the calculation. Why twenty?

I sometimes like to think of my port in gallons; it can be quite daunting when you think about planning to drink forty gallons of port.

jdaw1 wrote:Have any of us drunk more than 1 body mass of pre-WW2 Port? Not I.

Not even an arm's worth, more like a set of toes.

LGTrotter wrote:Why twenty?

Twenty body masses feels like it fills a large lift. Or a mini-bus. Eight felt diminutive.

Maybe it was all relative to ill-judged expectation.

LGTrotter wrote:I sometimes like to think of my port in gallons; it can be quite daunting when you think about planning to drink forty gallons of port.

Pre-metric the bottle size was set at the two-gallon dozen, so 1⅓ pints per bottle. Hence “forty gallons” is 20 dozen is 120 bottles. Is that a lot?

jdaw1 wrote: Is that a lot?

Well, yes I think so. Particularly if I can relate it to some familiar object. A forty gallon oil drum is a really big awkward thing when it is full. And now drink it. I worry about my youthful good looks.

LGTrotter wrote:I worry about my youthful good looks.

Count your blessings: you are one of the few to be so worried.

jdaw1 wrote:

LGTrotter wrote:I sometimes like to think of my port in gallons; it can be quite daunting when you think about planning to drink forty gallons of port.

Pre-metric the bottle size was set at the two-gallon dozen, so 1⅓ pints per bottle. Hence “forty gallons” is 20 dozen is 120 bottles. Is that a lot?

Have you been drinking or something?

AHB wrote:

jdaw1 wrote:

LGTrotter wrote:I sometimes like to think of my port in gallons; it can be quite daunting when you think about planning to drink forty gallons of port.

Pre-metric the bottle size was set at the two-gallon dozen, so 1⅓ pints per bottle. Hence “forty gallons” is 20 dozen is 120 bottles. Is that a lot?

Have you been drinking or something?

Oh, humiliation and sackcloth and ashes and penance and self-flagellation. And the same again, twice-fold and four-fold and eight-fold.

jdaw1 wrote:

AHB wrote:

jdaw1 wrote:

LGTrotter wrote:I sometimes like to think of my port in gallons; it can be quite daunting when you think about planning to drink forty gallons of port.

Pre-metric the bottle size was set at the two-gallon dozen, so 1⅓ pints per bottle. Hence “forty gallons” is 20 dozen is 120 bottles. Is that a lot?

Have you been drinking or something?

Oh, humiliation and sackcloth and ashes and penance and self-flagellation. And the same again, twice-fold and four-fold and eight-fold.

A craven withdrawal, you were of course thinking about magnums. As all right thinking port drinkers do.

LGTrotter wrote:

jdaw1 wrote:

AHB wrote:Have you been drinking or something?

Oh, humiliation and sackcloth and ashes and penance and self-flagellation. And the same again, twice-fold and four-fold and eight-fold.

A craven withdrawal, you were of course thinking about magnums. As all right thinking port drinkers do.

The contribution of non-standard bottle sizes was, perhaps, dominated by half-bottles of Madeira. The withdrawal was craven because the error was egregious and woefully sub-standard.

jdaw1 wrote:

AHB wrote:

jdaw1 wrote:

LGTrotter wrote:I sometimes like to think of my port in gallons; it can be quite daunting when you think about planning to drink forty gallons of port.

Pre-metric the bottle size was set at the two-gallon dozen, so 1⅓ pints per bottle. Hence “forty gallons” is 20 dozen is 120 bottles. Is that a lot?

Have you been drinking or something?

Oh, humiliation and sackcloth and ashes and penance and self-flagellation. And the same again, twice-fold and four-fold and eight-fold.

I would worry about the accuracy of the calculation of exactly how many strokes were required to achieve eight-fold. Perhaps a calculator would help?

AHB wrote:

jdaw1 wrote:

AHB wrote:

jdaw1 wrote:

LGTrotter wrote:I sometimes like to think of my port in gallons; it can be quite daunting when you think about planning to drink forty gallons of port.

Pre-metric the bottle size was set at the two-gallon dozen, so 1⅓ pints per bottle. Hence “forty gallons” is 20 dozen is 120 bottles. Is that a lot?

Have you been drinking or something?

Oh, humiliation and sackcloth and ashes and penance and self-flagellation. And the same again, twice-fold and four-fold and eight-fold.

I would worry about the accuracy of the calculation of exactly how many strokes were required to achieve eight-fold. Perhaps a calculator would help?

I am leaving work now to head to the airport to make the Croft tasting in Germany tonight. This thread was the perfect sending off....